Cleaning Closets
September 24, 2008
I’m cleaning out the closets and nooks and crannies behind the scenes here at the lighthouse. I have taken a break from writing. Yep, I have put down my pen and picked up the broom and started organizing and compiling and tossing and brainstorming.
Doing some of that…”Hmm..did I write that? Hmm. Wow..did I write that? Oh..gosh, yuck, did I write that??? And they still let me play in their sandbox?? Gosh, are they forgiving or what.
It’s humbling.
It is all in the name of working on THE BOOK. You know…THE Book. The one that we all have floating around in our heads that we say we are going to write but, we dabble a little here and there and some of it gets done and most of it doesn’t? Well, I went into my mental book closet today and started gathering up all of the stuff that I have already written and started to put it all together so I can actually see how much more work I have left to do.
It’s kind of like finally sitting down and paying your bills after weeks of just thinking about it. OR putting away all of the laundry that you had washed and just piled up wrinkled in the laundry baskets but never sorted or ironed. Why is it that the JUST FINISH IT is the hard part when you have already done the JUST DO IT part. I mean, I already wrote most of it. I already washed the laundry. Why is it so hard to put the darn clothes away and start to get things organized for the actual figuring out how to turn written words into a book?
I think its the same reason my closet doesn’t stay cleaned in real life either. I am a gatherer of life. An observer. I watch it, savor the moments, examine the expressions and the emotions of the people around me, I connect the dots, I wonder at the possibilities, I turn it over, watch as the snow-globe sprinkles out all of the magic that no one else sees, and then when all is finished-I put the moment aside. I record it, place it in the pile and like a child who waits for Santa, I turn my eyes to the next experience. I rarely look back. Unless forced to by a need that out ways my inborn drive to propel toward the future at warp speed. Now I want to compile all my essays and writing into THE BOOK. So that need to sit still and NOT create and just compile and task and “to do” is a need greater then writing.
I am impatient with the past. I am impatient period. I don’t like chores that slow me down or make me look backward. Going back and working on words I’ve already written is like walking into yesteryear. I have something to say today. I’m SO NOT INTO THAT NOW.
This is where self-discipline comes in I guess.
I remember feeling like this around the 16th week of training for the marathon. I had fun when I was running 5, 7, 10, and 12 miles every weekend. Around 14 miles on Saturday morning I was grumbly. By the week I had to run 16 miles I was down right bitchy. Who’s bright idea was this anyhow?
Mine.
It usually is.
Everything I have ever wanted to achieve in life has had its moments that just stopped being fun. In fact, most of them had trials that could be considered pure hell. Every single one worth remembering has had something. Every single one. So…I didn’t expect that writing a book would be any different. Not really.
I don’t have to like doing my chores. But if I want to get through to the other side, I have to put my head down and charge through. Just finish the NOT FUN part of the tasks. Like putting the clean clothes away in the closet or figuring out what to do with the stacks of written work. Get things organized. Spend the time figuring out what sections everything should go in. Line everything up all nice and pretty until it all looks good.
It’s time to put my inner kid in time out and put the grown up to work.
It’s time to get things done.
New Adventures
July 25, 2008
Welcome to our new home here at Life’s Little Inspirations. Isn’t it exciting? I feel as if I am walking around in my socks in a great big lighthouse mansion on the hills overlooking the ocean. Right now there are lots of empty rooms and so much open space that it seems like there is no way it will ever be filled up. There is lots of room to grow. Everything won’t be unveiled in a day or a week or even in a month so we will continue to shape and evolve and grow step by step into the space of our new home.
If you like the new design as much as I do, stop by and tell the Men with Pens because that stunning lighthouse and this website is the brainchild of Harrison McLeod and I couldn’t be happier with the work he and James did here. I did promise that I wouldn’t suffer from failure to launch syndrome so we are up and running while the paint dries and before we get all the furniture in and curtains up.
I am the great believer in baby steps after all. I don’t believe in waiting until everything is perfect because perfect isn’t coming. I have a lot to learn and I will continue to grow and learn and evolve just as I have been doing, right along side the rest of our community! One step at a time and the first step is to open the doors and welcome you all in so we can get back to the business of posting on the blog and keeping in touch!
As far as the future goes here, the first thing that you can expect is that our past will remain intact. I will continue to post at the same rate and with the same schedule as I did before at the old place. Our theme and the focus of what we are all about will stay the same as well. Making a positive difference in the lives of others is still my passion and my primary number one focus. Writing and sharing inspirational messages and insights to help people on their path will still be my number one goal.
So what will be new? The new site allows me the ability to expand into a website that also showcases additional resources and opportunities. In addition, I will be able to highlight services that will become availiabe to those who are interested or in need of them. I am also excited to share that I am working on the book verson of Life’s Little Inspirations, which will be available here as well.
Some of this will come soon, some in awhile, baby steps and long term goals are my map to success but rest assured, my passionate goal is posted where we all can see it every day and I will be heading toward it with radar focus. CAN, WILL and BELIEVE!
PS. Don’t forget to subscribe here at the new address so you don’t miss anything. I am so glad to be making this journey with all of you. 
Want more of Life’s Little Inspirations? Want to be a part of our fun community? Please join us in the comment section with your thoughts and comments and subscribe for free with the orange Icon in the top right hand corner. We are glad to have you here!
The Addiction of Conforming
June 19, 2008
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.
~Abraham Maslow
During my hairdresser days, I had a continuing conversation with some clients that went something like this.
CLIENT: I want something new and different. Something really exciting. I’m bored with my hair. It always looks the same.
ME: OK, let’s see, you always wear your hair straight and brown and shoulder length, how about we bring it up around chin level, right at the base of the neck, put in some long layers to give it some bounce and add in some highlights to brighten it up. That will be very different and will frame your face and the highlights will bring out the color of your eyes.
CLIENT: Oh no, I couldn’t cut my hair short. It has to stay long. And…I don’t know about layers, none of my friends have layers, I wouldn’t know how to take care of them. Highlights…that’s too radical. I’m too scared. How about a trim instead.
Uhuh…no change for her…
Change is difficult for a lot of people. Daring to be different than everyone else is difficult. Standing up for your beliefs in a crowd of people who believe differently than you is very difficult. And not so politically correct depending on who you are, where you are and what the circumstances are in today’s society. We are getting used to quietly slinking away. Taking our thoughts and ideas and beliefs and going home. We get on the computer and share with strangers behind screens instead. It feels safer. We aren’t as exposed. We can control our exposure. Say what we want them to hear.
Except its boring. We live in a lukewarm world with everyone conforming to the sameness of corporate structure. We create matching neighborhoods, strip-malls and towns and duplicate them all over the country, and follow society’s rules, passing the time with idle chatter. We say nothing of value at all for fear that we will offend. It is a mindless, weary, aging way to waste an existence.
Conformity is dangerous. It’s addictive. It sneaks up on you.
One day you were young and full of dreams and plans and hopes and ideals and then little by little someone whispered in your ear “Psst…that’s not what we DO here. WE don’t wear purple boots, we wear brown shoes” So off you went to the brown shoe store. Then another day it was “Psst…We don’t believe in that anymore…” and away went the dreams, the hopes and the plans until you forgot that you had been dreaming…The next thing you know you are all decked out in your beiges and browns with your safe hair cut and all purpose shoes. One day blended in to the next and before you know it there is a school reunion notice showing up at the door.
Where did it go? Where did YOU go? Well, take a deep look. You are in there. Sandwiched somewhere between the serving others and making sure they are OK and working to make ends meet. If you made it a point to let go of all the unconscious conforming for others and really woke up and paid attention to your OWN needs, hopes, and desires, what would they be? Do you know? Has it been a long time since you have dug down deep and asked yourself-do I want this for ME or do I want this because I THINK its what I OUGHT to do.
Our true selves never really go away. They lie in wait for the day when they get a turn. A turn to be set free and live the life that THEY were created for. Each one of us has a special gift, a destiny to unfold, a dream to bring to life if we will take the time to discover it and then pull it out and make it happen.
Shine a light on it. Be unique, take a chance, dare to be different, authentic, one of a kind. Be interesting. Bring a little color into an otherwise gray world.
Crystal at BigBrightBulb has sent out a mission for all of us to share our dreams and goals. I have many. Lots of family ones, one I joke about with my best friend Jackie K. where we talk about ending up as two old ladies living on a beach somewhere warm selling artwork to the beachcombers as they go by. Of course, now that I am happily married, that dream is evolving. That’s OK too. Dreams do that sometimes. But when the dream is more than just a friendly daydream, when the dream is a vision of how you want your life to be, when the dream grabs you by the heart and won’t let you go, then that has become more than a dream. That dream requires ACTION. That dream now has built in the required ingredient of PASSION.
Passion is what turns dreams into action. Passion is what happens when people DON’T conform, but seek their OWN unique vision and follow their own authenticity. You will never find passion if you have a dream brought on by a should.
Ok Crystal here is mine:
My Passionate dream: To grow Life’s Little Inspirations into a website that offers books, motivational speaking, workshops, coaching, and training classes on how to work and live an inspired, profitable and happy life.
I took my first step today. I registered my domain name. And I wrote out a huge list of everything I wanted. It was very long. I’m on my way.
What are you doing to make your passionate dreams happen?
Once Upon a Time
June 11, 2008
Once Upon a Time, when there was such a thing as extra time, (I used to call it Free Time, back when I believed that such a thing existed. Now I know that it just isn’t so. You have to pay for it one way or another.) I used to be a fiction writer.
It began innocently enough. Sitting and twirling my swing, I shared stories and adventures with my imaginary friend in the side yard of the old clapboard house of my youth. She listened with great interest and never interrupted. In time, illustrations followed and the stories grew in depth and character.
When we moved into a country farmhouse during my middle school years, I created paper doll people and paper doll cut-out villages to go with my stories and the world that my characters lived in. They took up residence in my bedroom closet. As my clothes were strewn about the floor, there was plenty of room there and every day after school I would join them on the closet floor, and create for them a brand new world. Their lives were full of adventures. They were sassy and talked back. I never did. They traveled the world and saw everything. I lived in a town where all the kids went to school on the same bus. They wore exotic clothes and were popular and had bright shiny hair and flashing, expressive eyes. My stringy dishwater brown hair hung in my dull brown eyes, shielding me to hide my shyness.
We moved again, (and again, and again) making the process of building lasting friendships a difficult one. I was friendly, yet uncommitted. My head was either buried in reading a book or writing a book. I lived inside the pages of fantasy. Inspiration came from reading every book I could get my hands on. When I did need to relate to someone, it was easy to pull out a character and try it on for whatever situation needed to be handled. The first inklings and seeds of the actress began to grow within.
By the time I arrived at high school, my first novel had been completed and sat buried in the bottom of my t-shirt drawer. Along with it was another complete series of shorter stories, all bound together, adventures of middle school girls trying to survive their way through the popular world of junior high, while being different. A book of poetry sat on top of my desk, never put away-because it was added to, almost daily.
One day, I peeked out from behind a page and saw a strange world standing before me. High School was a bustling, harsh place to be, especially for someone who had mastered zero social skills. A refuge for others like myself welcomed me in the theater department. There, for the first time, I met others who shared my traits. Actors, writers, dreamers, artists–people who believed that what you could see in your mind could be more real than what was standing before you. I had come home into a family of my own. I wasn’t different anymore.
The high school years of theater and writing classes and having teachers who molded my skills were a wonderful-if not way too short- time of my life. Actually, truthfully, I hated all of it except the part where I could get to the writing and the acting. Everything else was impatiently tolerated until I could dive back in to the deep well of creativity and be immersed again in the flow of talent that surrounded me.
Then life took an abrupt shift. Choices made became a direction turned and I moved forward into becoming a mother and learning the life lessons of living in the REAL WORLD. Not much room for fiction there…
I have kept the creativity in my life. I have had to. I stayed in my community theater, learned to paint. It has been hard to find that balance over the years, and there have been many lessons learned about what happens to my spirit when I let it die back. Hint: It isn’t a pretty thing. I need it like I need air.
But the fiction writing took a seat way in the back of the bus. After spending so much time NOT in reality, I had needed to find a way to become authentic. Figure out who the real Wendi was. NOT a fiction character chameleon that could shape-shift on a dime, but the real deal. What was important to me, where were MY boundaries, what were the consistencies and the threads that bound my spirit through the ages of my life. The unchangeables? The areas that I needed to grow and cultivate? The areas that I needed to prune and cut away?
A lot of those questions have been answered over the decade that has been my forties. Hurray for the 40’s for there is time to look in the mirror. At least there has been for me. And now that I can see myself standing there, my-self, my true self, not the self that I shifted into for the sake of others, I can see that she is writing fiction again.
It started out innocently enough. First little stories I had been imagining in my head. Then just a few chapters of a story idea that I jotted down in a file on the computer. Then one day, a title of a children’s book, so I wrote that down too. With a few paragraphs to follow. Then a few days later, a few more pages for that. Gosh…a few more chapters of that first book were floating around up there. So I wrote them down too.
Now Men with Pens have an on-line Escape from Reality fiction story writing group and I have a character there. (You can follow along if you like, but fair warning…its so darn good and fun, it’s addictive!)
The ideas and the story lines and the characters are all coming back home, as if they have been gone for a very long holiday. I welcome them back with a bit of apprehension. I have real-life responsibilities now. I’m not that free-time little girl who can afford to live up in her head. I have a family to take care of and a blog to write and a REAL world to live in now. It would be very easy to slip away, fall down the rabbit-hole and become vaguely lost to the happenings around me. I don’t want to do that. I love my real-time life. My family and friends are an enormous part of my happiness and joy.
This will be the first time I will try to honestly face the world of fiction writing with balance and structure. I know its been done by others . I don’t know how to do it. Quieting the stories at inappropriate times when there is a story happening in your head and all you want to do is grab a pen and write it down? In the middle of making dinner or entertaining guests? Agh…I think I have shut it down for a long, long time out of fear for situations just as that. How do I be in two places at once?
It is going to be interesting. (shaking my head) Help!!
I’m taking any and all thoughts and suggestions here…..comments? I’m quite sure my family would appreciate your help too!
Unplugging for Peace
May 23, 2008
I have been sitting by the pool all week, warmed by the California Sun caressing my pale Chicago skin. A trickling waterfall, babbling with playful birds has been my twitter and my social network. I close my eyes and breathe in oxygen that does not have toxins of technology and To Do lists. I am alone. Unplugged and at peace.
My Zen-filled fingers dip a loaded brush filled with ever-changing colors into swirls of paint. The muse awakens from within, my own fountain thrusting upward and out of the vessel-it doesn’t matter what happens to appear on the page-only that it is authentic to the peace…and the feelings that are sprouting there. Perfection has no place here, the only audience is the birds and the Sun. The Creator and creation are the same…if only for the moment…unplugged, serene, focused.
I open my journal next, words spilling on to the pages as fast as my pen can scratch them out. Free-forming associations create new thoughts, new ideas, projects and brainstorms, some will be discarded, some will be created, some will be brainstormed further with new partners in-put. More creativity to follow. All gifts from the Muse-gods. I am always grateful.
Totally and reverently standing in the golden light, filled with energy, filled with creativity, filled with peace…
I am hoping to remember this feeling when I plug back in. Hoping to put a piece of it in my pocket to hold on to. Hoping to be ABLE to close my eyes and remember the smell of ocean air, the sight of mountains in the near distance, palm trees swaying, trickling fountains that whisper to birds. Hoping to remember that I can BREATHE unplugged, that they all survive without me, that I do without them….once in awhile.
I love my community, My e-mail, my friends. I love my tranquility, my peace too. My creativity MORE. I need them both. I need to go home and find the balance. Learn to unplug for peace.
What about you? How plugged in are you? How does it affect your peace? Your productivity? How balanced are you in your plugged in-ness?
Twiddling Thumbs
April 30, 2008
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
~Robert Benchley
Why is it that when I am supposed to be cleaning the house, I am compelled to write, when I am supposed to be writing, I am compelled to clean, when I am supposed to be working in the garden, I wish to be indoors, when I am supposed to be working indoors, my nose is pressed against the glass, gazing at the garden?
We don’t even need to get into checking the e-mail do we????
Procrastination.
I was supposed to write this yesterday but I procrastinated and took a nap. Then I checked my e-mail and twiddled my thumbs. I was still tired. What’s a girl to do? It was a bad day. It started with no coffee and went downhill from there.
It happens to the best of us ( and that ain’t necessarily me) once in awhile. It happens to the rest of us now and then. It happens to a few of us all the time. And that’s when the big trouble starts.
Procrastination sucks the life out of dreams, hopes, goals and plans. It is a monster that ruins marriages, friendships, business partnerships, and any other type of relationship you can have. It can get you fired. It can ruin your reputation.
Ahhhhh, no it won’t…not me…I can handle it, I’ve been doing it all my life. I did all my term papers the night before; I juggle ten things at once, pull all nighters for important company projects, and own stock in every caffeine drink there is.
Oh yeah?
I know you. You drive the people around you crazy. They just are too nice to tell you. Or if they tell you, it goes in one ear and out the other. You live on adrenaline and you make us live on it too. Even though we don’t want to. You spend your life living like a fire truck, putting out fires, one after the other, swinging your hose all over the place, getting everything wet.
Well guess what. It isn’t as productive as you think it is. Everything is piled up and your dreams and hopes and goals are all piled up too. And you are ticking everyone off. However productive you think you are, you could get more done, if you had a little planning and weren’t wasting so much time twiddling your thumbs before you started driving that fire truck all over the dang town.
Besides. Other then that awesome adrenaline rush and King of the Hill feeling every time you’ve pulled it off again…( don’t ask me how I know that) you know that it really does make you feel rather bad and tarnishes your self esteem quite a bit the rest of the time. It’s like a drug. It may feel good for a few minutes, but it just isn’t good for you. It needs to stop if you want to do your best work.
OK LECTURE OVER— on to the helpful part…
How to Stop Procrastinating
The first key to stop procrastinating is to determine what type of procrastinator you are.
The experts have their Doc opinions but for us simpler folk, I’ve narrowed it down to these categories.
- The Rebel This is mine- I’ll go first. I rebel against everything, even lists I made myself. As SOON as I make something my first priority on the top of the list, there is a nasty little excuse monster that starts up in my head that has a reason- and dang if it isn’t a GOOD reason- that I really should be doing something else first instead. I work, hard too, I just am doing something else other than what I was supposed to get done. I just don’t like to follow orders. I want to be free to wander about unstructured. I…am…a…brat. You would think a person would grow out of this. But I am loosing hope.
- The Thumb Twiddler This poor guy’s got it bad. It is the “In a minute” syndrome. “I’m just going to sit here and twiddle my thumbs and read one more e-mail, watch one more minute of soaps, read one more chapter. This person’s behind never leaves the chair. There is no time management because there is no sense of time. Time is twiddled away and at the end of the day, they are shocked to find out that the day has left and they don’t even know where it went.
- The Adrenaline Junkie It takes a strong shot of the “juice” to motivate this one. Just looking at the “To do” list doesn’t quite do it. Somewhere along the line they lost their ability to move without a swift kick in the rear. All the other categories default to this eventually, the difference is, that while most of us hate it when we find ourselves here, the junkie lives for it.
- The Cowardly Lion This fellow would love to get things done-if only he could decide what to do. The last thing he wants to do is procrastinate. He is just waiting until he gets the job done perfectly. Fear of failure is paralyzing the Lion and keeping him tied up in ropes.
Once you have identified which type of procrastinator you are you can take steps to work on helpful hints to undo it. Procrastinators aren’t born. It is a learned behavior. That’s the good news! It can be unlearned. It is based on habits and conscious and unconscious beliefs that we have about ourselves that keep us circling in destructive patterns. By becoming proactive, we can fight procrastination and reach our goals.
You may have felt like you have identified with more than one or that you thought of more. That’s OK. Whatever the list sparked for you, write it down and see what insight you just got. The important thing is recognizing the key patterns of behavior so that we can begin to take charge of it.
Here are some tips to take charge of each of the four basic types of procrastinators.
- The Rebel Be prepared! Awareness is the biggest part of the cure. As soon as you know that little voice is coming, you’ve already won because you are not caught off guard. Also plan your list carefully and plan it ahead of time. Make sure that your list is prioritized so that it truly has the A+ priorities in the right order so you aren’t second guessing yourself in the moment. Remind yourself-over and over-if you have to, that you have a choice, you are free to choose and you are choosing to keep your eyes on the goal, and that you want to be the best you can be. Give yourself rewards for sticking to the list. After each one is checked off, take a timed five to ten minute break, and tell yourself what a great job you did. You earned it and you love being your own boss! Then get to the next one, check that clock and see how quickly you can get that task done so you can get to that next break! After all, you are the boss! (By the way, I took my break at Dave Naverro’s site today. When you are done here go there. He has a really good article today about motivation.)
- The Thumb Twiddler Look, here is the bad news. You have to go cold turkey. You need to identify your time wasters and put them aside until after you get some work done. Do not touch them even for one second. Remember when your Mom told you to eat your vegetables first and then you can eat your dessert? Well she was right. But it doesn’t have to be quite as bad as all that. You do have to eat your veggies first, but you don’t have to eat everything on your plate all in one sitting. Part of your trouble is you feel so overwhelmed by the big picture that you never start. We are going to break it up. This is the FLyLady fifteen minute rule and it’s brilliant. You just can’t sit down on your Bum until you’ve started, OK? Good. Go get a Timer. Set it for Fifteen Minutes. NOW START Your Project and don’t stop until the timer goes off. Now you can take a timed break and then set it for a new fifteen minutes and work again. Honestly, I think you should go to the FlyLady website right now. You need her if you are a Thumb Twiddler.
- The Adrenaline Junkie First realize your addiction is to the thrill, not the procrastination. Now, here’s the deal. Take up bungee jumping and get your work done! OR Do something crazy like my friend Brett at Six Weeks. ( Don’t click on that link until we’re done here- you’re just trying to get out of this) Make a deal with yourself. Give yourself something to look forward to. Barter yourself. Say- “Self- here’s the deal. We are going to set up a new deadline on that project for one week early and the next day after we finish it, we are going to roll down a hill in a giant Hamster ball.” (Ask Brett, OK, you can click on the link, but come right back.) Put up a picture of the giant hamster ball on your mirror where you brush your teeth. Put it on the fridge. Make it visual. Put it all over. You need the constant rush of looking at it everywhere or it will wear off and you won’t stay motivated to get your work done. Keep yourself inspired with excitement not related to your work! Also, you might want to examine why it is that your work isn’t exciting to you. Are you avoiding doing it because it is the wrong work for you altogether? Does your personality need something else? We weren’t all put here to sit at a desk. Take a good look inside. Don’t avoid the big questions.
- The Cowardly Lion You, my friend, are a perfectionist. I know that you are looking all around you at your stacks of unfinished work and mess and clutter and you are shaking your head no and thinking….oh, she is talking about somebody else. No…I am talking about you. Yes, Felix from The Odd Couple was a perfectionist, and that is who we tend to think of when we use that term, but there is another perfectionist and that is the one who so wants to be perfect and so fears messing up and is so afraid that the world will see our flaws that we freeze like a deer in headlights and don’t get anything done. So do this one thing. Start. Just start. And know that you are going to fail at it a little bit anyway so it won’t matter. Just say to yourself…good enough is better than not doing it at all. Pick JUST one thing-set the timer for fifteen minutes and Get started. By the way, Flylady is an expert on perfectionists. She can really help you too.
I am sure that this isn’t an exhaustive list. There is a lot more. This is a drop in the bucket. There are posts and posts to be written on each one of these. What are some of the things that you do to fight procrastination? Which ones do you identify with? How do you manage time?
Speaking of time….I have to go……
I promised Dave I would come back. Want to come with? click on the link below
But don’t forget to leave a comment first if you want to, and subscribe too if you want in the top corner!
DAVE’S POST Staying Motivated When It All Goes To Hell
Having Faith
April 25, 2008
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.
-Robert Benchley
It’s a good thing that Robert didn’t find out earlier. What a different world it might have been. Robert Benchley sold his first piece of paid writing in 1914 and his work continues to sell, inspire and entertain to this day.
His son Nathanial Benchley became a well known author of children and teen books and wrote the book The Off-islanders in 1962, which became the motion picture titled “The Russians are coming, the Russians are coming. He received an Academy award nomination for writing the Adapted Screenplay. His novel, Welcome to Xanadu became the 1975 movie Sweet Hostage.
Perhaps younger fans will be most familiar with his grandson, Peter Benchley, author of the famed novel Jaws.
Three generations of authors influencing our history. What would have happened if he had *realized* he had no talent? Would he have inspired his son or his grandson to become writers? How would their lives have been different? How would yours? Where were you the first time you saw that famous shark rise out of the ocean?
Writer’s words change lives. They change other peoples thoughts, they propel people to action. They make us laugh. They make us cry. Sometimes they make us angry.
Or fall in love.
But I’m not a writer-so you say. Maybe you think you have no talent. Maybe you think the words you have bubbling up inside you are words that no one needs to hear? Maybe you never pick up a pen. Maybe you write with spoken words, or paint or dance or modeling clay. But you do have something to say. And if you are holding it in, is it building up inside of you? Maybe you have never paid attention to it before. Listen. You can feel it. It’s that yearning. It’s that pressure that pushes out from inside of you. It wants to go somewhere. It wants to be heard. It needs to be heard.
We all have a voice and we all have something to say. We all have questions as to the what and the why’s of this world and no-we might not have all the answers, but its ok to write while we are journeying on, working them out together, forming new ideas, hearing new solutions. Sharing our experiences with each other.
Somebody is listening somewhere. Somebody needs to hear what you have already figured out. Somebody needs a hand up, a little help along the way. Or they need to know that you are struggling too, that they are not alone. They need to know that they are not a lone tree falling in the forest. That you are there and will catch them when they fall, that your words will hold them up-because you have been there first. Maybe all you have to say today is great job or I love you, but these can be powerful words too. Don’t underestimate what you have to say. Someone needs to hear it.
But I’m not good enough.-Yes you are. Write from your heart. Write from your soul. Speak the words. Let it out and have faith that somebody is listening. If you are true to what you are feeling, I promise, someone else is feeling it too. None of us are ever truly alone.
But I’m not creative enough- I believe that true creativity comes from letting go. Not pushing it. Not trying too hard to cram all the pieces together. Get empty and see what comes to fill in the space. Say what if…and let the pieces fall into all new places. Don’t hold on to anything, just follow the wave and it will take you places you would never have dreamed of.
But I don’t have time- I don’t think we have time NOT to. Taking the time to formulate our thoughts and feelings, perhaps putting them down on paper or whatever medium we choose is a valuable use of time that grounds us. It highlights our center, our values, our key trouble spots and the secrets that lie within. Whether we are writing for others, or ourselves, these words need an outlet. It isn’t a healthy thing to ignore them while they clamor away for attention like a nagging child inside of us. Ignored for too long, they become sullen, depressed, hidden in the corner, while we become more and more detached from the authentic self that is our true spirit. Get out your pen! Go find yourself! Go listen to what you have to say!
I never know what I think about something until I read what I’ve written on it.
-William Faulkner
I have my grandmother’s stories and poetry. Long gone now, she wrote not for fame or fortune but to be connected to her spirit. She wrote her poems to God. She poured out her questions, cried out her heartache, searched for the answers to the mysteries that defied her.
She was an artistic, creative soul. Lost sometimes in the depth of Bi-polar confusion, she struggled to make sense of the ever-changing world in her mind. Through her stories, through her poetry, her grandchildren and great-grandchildren will always have a glimpse into the brilliance that resided there. She was beautiful. Her writing is her legacy. Did she know we would be listening? One of her poems, written on a Christmas morning was titled “To my Grandchildren.”
WE listen.
Have faith. Write. Write from your heart. Somebody is listening.
Being Enough
April 19, 2008
Ah, the weekend. Family time for me, what about you? How will you be spending these next few days? Share and let us know!
I will be going to birthday parties for my nephew and myself. We promise to eat cake for all of you! It has been an entire week of eating and parties around here for birthday week. Any surprise we were inspired by cannoli and pie?
Every birthday gives me a reason to take a moment and reflect on where I am and what I am doing with my life. Am I on track? Am I following the goals and steps that I have laid out to get where I want to be? Am I living an on-purpose life or am I just blowing in the wind?
Sometimes all the striving gets to be a little much. Planning for the future always needs to be balanced with accepting where I am right now, right this minute and being OK with who I am. I remind myself that I am in the place I am at so that I can learn and grow and help others where they are at. We are all where we need to be at the moment to become who we are growing to be. I don’t need to wait to become something more before I get on with the job of living and doing my life’s work.
One of my favorite authors sums this up well, and as I like to share with you some of my favorite authors on the weekends, here is an excerpt from a passage in the book The Sound of Paper, Starting from Scratch, by Julia Cameron.
If you haven’t read any of her books, I highly recommend them to you. The Sound of Paper is one of my favorites.
Have a wonderful weekend friends. Please…take a moment to say hi!
Wendi
Remembering Who We Are
A great deal of the difficulty in making art springs from this conviction that what we are at any given moment is not enough. We want to be better, wiser, more ready to write before we write. We want to be more in the mood, more inspired, more alive before we try to paint. And yet, over the long years of work, it is clear that some of the best writing comes through when we are not feeling struck with light. Some of the finest painting gets done on the days when we just show up at the easel because that is our job. In other words, when we practice self-acceptance of where we are and who we are instead of striving, always, to be better. We are enough, exactly as we are.
It is very easy to forget our divine origins. It is very easy to see ourselves as the products of our birth families, shaped and colored only by those transactions. We are much larger than that. We are each a soul, unique and distinctive, bringing to bear on life a rich legacy of spiritual gifts if we but open ourselves to the possibility that we are not merely the products of our conditioning. We are spiritual beings with spiritual business to transact here on this earth. We have a destiny to fulfill.
Julia Cameron
The Cannoli Tube
April 17, 2008
I’m going to share a little secret that I don’t think I’ve ever shared with anyone.
Anyone at all.
I think my life is like a cannoli tube.
Now if you have never had an Aunt Nonni or a mother who makes home-made cannoli, that statement might not make any sense at all, and in fact, even if you do, it still might not. It’s taken me a long time to understand how I turned out to be a cannoli tube, so I expected I would have to go into a little detail for you as well.
The majority of us do not go through life thinking about being tubes. Not cannoli tubes, not tubes of any kind really. We think about being flesh and blood and bones, all filled up to the brim with life’s challenges and daily events. We have our goals and our projects, our kids and our bills, our needs and our wants. A lot of those wants. That can be a long list.
We jump out of bed in the morning already filled up. Stuffed in fact, with all of life’s filling. Overflowing, just like a cannoli, with goo oozing out both ends. Now, there doesn’t have to be anything wrong with that. In fact, I love cannoli. Absolutely one of the best desserts made. As long as its fresh, with a crisp crust and a sweet, creamy cheese filling that has just been piped in for you to enjoy.
But before you can have any wonderful, fresh, delicious cannoli, you have to have a clean and empty tube ready to go, ready to make the crust, ready for action. A perfectly empty vessel just waiting to be filled with the batter that will be the basis for that spectacular gift to your culinary senses.
No cannoli tube- no cannoli.
If your cannoli tube is stuffed full of old dirty gunk, not cleaned out, not ready to do its job- no spectacular cannoli.
If I want to be like a beautiful tasty cannoli- I have to be a ready and willing cannoli tube.
Now I know this is a crazy, off the wall illustration to make my point. This is why it has been a secret for all 48 years of my life.
But when I am at my very best…my very, very best, it is when I have poured myself out, made myself a clean and empty vessel- a tube if you will- gotten rid of all of the negative gunk I can find, stepped outside of myself, put away my agendas and let the good energy powers work through me. Let Creativity, God, Serendipity all use me for the needs of the day. When I am humble enough to become nothing more than an empty tube, waiting to be filled, I become more than I ever could be alone.
Its crazy. But its also true.
One of the most delicious desserts in the world comes from an empty tube. The most delicious things that I produce in the world happen when I am an empty tube too.
Before the Play is Done
April 10, 2008
Epigram
MY soul, sit thou a patient looker-on;
Judge not the play before the play is done:
Her plot hath many changes; every day
Speaks a new day; the last act crowns the play.
Frances Quarles
From the first moment that I met Margaret, I was blown away. It was my first day of watercolor class in college and I was anxious, frightened and fidgeting with all of my shiny new supplies while waiting for students and the teacher to arrive. One glance around the room had already told me that I was in over my head, that there was much more talent surrounding me than I had bargained for. The class was a combination class. Newbies like me jumped in at the beginning and tried to keep up as more accomplished artists painted around them. The theory was that by observing others, there would be more growth. Yeah right, I was going to look like a preschooler with finger-paint.
I began re-packing my things. With five minutes to spare, I figured I could withdraw from the class, no harm done and go sign up at the local park district, where I belonged, before anyone had even realized I was in the room.
Then she burst in.
She was tall, and rim-rod straight, with perfect posture that a soldier would pay good money for. She pulled behind her a cart with three large cases filled, presumably, with art supplies and canvases. “Good MORNING everybody,” she boomed in a huge strong voice. “IT is a BeaUTiful day.” she marched over to a table and bustling about in a flurry of energy, began unpacking everything from the cases.
I sat.
I tried to keep my mouth from hanging open.
Margaret’s hair was silver-gray, piled on to the very top of her head, wound in a long braided bun. Her face wore the road map of many years and many troubles, with lines upon lines intersecting with each other. My brain struggled to keep up with the information it was receiving. The hair, the wrinkles, the thin blue skin with whispers of veins running through it, all spoke of a woman at the end of her life. She had to be in her nineties. But the voice, the posture, the energy, the vibrancy which radiated out of her being screamed No way. This is youth, not age, she can’t be as old as she looks.
I was wrong. She was 93 years old.
The story of Margaret unfolded bit by bit that semester. I learned more about the illusion of age then I did about how to be a great painter in those 16 weeks. And I was grateful for the lesson. Margaret was an amazing artist. What she could do with a little brush and pots of paint was astounding. Her paintings were hanging in galleries and selling for $4000.00 each for an original. She came to paint in class with us just for the fun of being around people. She had never even picked up a paintbrush until her late 70’s after her beloved husband had passed away. Then with her children grown and no one at home, she decided to go to college and get a degree. A random art class had led to painting and she never stopped.
I asked her what her secret to long life was.
“Never stop learning” she said. “Keep trying something new. You have to make mistakes and figure things out. Oh, and be stubborn. I’m very stubborn. Oh..and don’t forget to walk. I walk every day.” Margaret was big on walking. Every day, she hauled in twice as much stuff as the rest of us. She parked at the far end of the parking lot and walked briskly to the room. She had two big dogs at home that she claimed to walk every day after her morning meditations.
If you asked her if she wanted help with something, you could expect to get glared at. She may have been a sweet, old lady, but she was unwaveringly independent. She didn’t believe in being beholden to anyone, for anything. She was proud, strong and fiercely young at heart.
I lost contact with Margaret after that semester. I finished the class and moved on with my life. Margaret stayed in school for another 4 years, painting in that same room and making a decent living from selling her art. I was saddened to open the local newspaper one morning to see the headline begin with ”Oldest College Student has Died…” with a picture of Margaret and one of my personal favorite paintings on the front page. She had still been in school at 97 years old.
Next week, I will turn 48. As I begin the march up the “Over the Hill”, and the second act of my life’s “play,” I am starting to get very excited. The teasing about fifty looming in the near future has begun, but it means nothing to me. When I think of Margaret, I feel like a baby bird barely sprouting wings. There is a very long list written down on my “things I want to do while I’m still breathing” list and I’m adding new ones all the time. Before the final curtian comes down in my final act, there is much I want to do, much I want to see.
I feel like a kid at the Baskin and Robbins Ice cream store and I want to try all 31 flavors. I don’t want to miss anything. I want to know that I have tasted every drop, inhaled every fragrance, and touched every soft and wooly item. Lord, let me experience all that Life has to offer and not miss it in my daily round. Don’t let me wander through life unaware.
Never Stop Learning… Margaret’s secret to a long life. Good advice, and I haven’t forgotten it. All the world is a beautiful school with classrooms in every corner, just waiting to teach anything we are willing to learn, as long as we are willing to listen, down to the last day. We can start over at any time, re-write our scripts, begin a new scene, maybe even come up with a surprise ending.
It’s never too late if you’re breathing. What do you want to know? What do you want to do? How are you going to get there?
In the Silence are the Answers…
April 9, 2008
I think I was twelve the first time someone turned to me with hands on their hips, frustrated, ready to rip out their hair and shouted, “Wendi! You know what your problem is??? YOU THINK TOO MUCH!!!”
Oh, OK, then…I’ll just…stop…???
But what if…????
The world is an amazing place. Under every leaf and rock is a whole new world just waiting to be explored and questioned. Taken apart, piece by piece, examined, put back together again with all the pieces topsy-turvy and somewhere new. Creativity is the child of the questions Why and How. The answer to the why-nots, and the-oh, yes I can’s.
Questions, Questions, Questions. Yes, I can be the Queen of questions. I started asking them at three and never shut up. So I am told. Guilty as charged. I honestly believe that if I have a ’secret to my success,’ it is the asking of questions and looking for answers.
After all, I am a high school drop out. Twice. But that didn’t mean I had to stay there. I tried going back once and circumstances knocked me off my feet again. So… off to get the GED and on to College. There is always a way around to go get the answers if you really want them. Then there are books. Amazing, wonderful books. If you can read, there is virtually nothing standing in between you and anything you want to know.
And now we have the Godzilla of information…the INTERNET. Oh…we live in a privileged time of answers. What do you want to know? Within moments, the answers can be at your fingertips. Technology, Shakespeare, how to make your first million. Right there…Google can set you free…Ask and you shall receive…glory be…
But there are some answers that can’t come to you with the click of a button. Google can’t answer the nagging little questions bottled up in your spirit. It won’t tell you why you ate that stinking rotten doughnut not ten lousy minutes after you PROMISED yourself you were really going to diet this time FOR REAL. It can try, but it doesn’t know you. It won’t write your next article or tell you why you are procrastinating today. It won’t let you in on why you feel restless or angry and don’t even know why OR why you changed your outfit seven times and swear you gained ten pounds, even when the scale assures you it is only one.
What’s the matter? Why the sudden writer’s block? The lack of creativity? Why aren’t things working the way you planned them on the goal list? Maybe you haven’t even come up with one? Why not? What are you afraid of? Why the anxiety, the sense of self-defeat? Why the little voice in your ear telling you it’s not enough, that you aren’t enough? Why are the things you say not adding up to the things you do?
There are answers to those questions too. Not on the Internet. Not at school. Not in all the self-help books. Not even here. They are in you. Within you are the answers you seek-if you will take the time to be quiet and listen.
Here are a few of the methods that I use to do this:
Prayer/meditation
Find yourself a very quiet place, get comfortable and make sure that you will not be disturbed. Now I am not going to begin to tell anyone how to pray in any specific religious sense here so please interpret my use of the word to mean whatever spiritual power works for you. What I find to be very powerful is to just have an honest unloading of what is going on, along with the problems and questions that need solutions. I actually do this out loud. If that is too uninhibited for you, try it in your mind. Then be silent. Do your best to calm and relax your mind to have no thoughts at all. I find focusing on a candle helps a lot. With practice, it is amazing how much creativity, answers and solutions come through the silence. It might be a good idea to have a pad of paper close by so you can jot down any great brainstorms as the free flow of ideas loosens up.
Journaling/ reading
The written word has a powerful ability to communicate with us and send us messages we hadn’t seen before, even if we have read the same passage over and over again. Anyone who is a frequent Bible or inspirational book reader can speak of specific quotes that have jumped off of pages and were “just what they needed to hear” at the right time. This can be enhanced by combining it with journaling out specific issues and questions, therefore solidifying certain topics firmly in the mind’s focus. Then picking up random reading, the mind seems to focus on just what it needs to bring you the answer that you were looking for. It may seem magical, but it is a way of communicating with your subconscious, (or God or higher power if you like) which has the answers that you need.
Another journaling tool is to just start free-form writing down everything that enters your head, letting creativity flow, and brainstorming solutions. In the privacy of not having to worry about being wrong, your creativity is freed to open up and explore new ideas and solutions. Promise yourself that you will burn or shred the paper so that you are freed from the constraints of worrying about what you write if that is an issue for you.
Nature/exercise
The solitude of running, walking, boating, camping or any way of communing alone with nature is a wonderful way to seek the answers that you need. While it is true that I have heard of athletes who can get “in the zone” at health clubs enough to feel that sense of meditation, I think it is a rare person who has that kind of focus. Out in nature, one can think and soak up the nature, the beauty and the silence and the world and its problems almost naturally take on a different perspective on its own. It is a wonderful way to use the methods of exploring the asking of questions and then waiting in silence for the solutions. The only drawback that I personally have had with this method is when I have had such great ideas, I have become frustrated due to not being able to run and write at the same time and by the time I get back, I have lost some of them. When I was training for my first marathon, I carried a little portable recorder for a few of the long runs to record ideas that came to me.
Drawing/painting
Art. Although I also paint landscapes and *things*, when I am in the listening mode, I am more apt to put on some very quiet meditative music and doodle. With pencils or paint, I just let whatever is *in*, come out. I am often very surprised to see what lands there. The intent is to have no pre-conceived idea or plan, just let *it* out. The result of a session like this is usually like an awakening, a feeling of an AHA, then peace.
I highly recommend messy art. It is good for the soul.
I would love to hear how other people listen for their “Inside Voice Answers.” We all have them, sometimes it’s a matter of how often we are checking in. How often do you check in? How do you get there? I would love to know. Please give me your thoughts and your methods!
Getting To Know You…
April 5, 2008
“Getting to know you,
getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
getting to hope you like me.
Haven’t you noticed,
suddenly I’m bright and breezy?”
Because of all the wonderful and new things
I’m learning about you day by day…
Lyrics: Getting To Know You, King & I
Happy Weekend everyone!
SURVEY TIME!!!!! Please take a few minutes to help make this a better site by answering five questions!
Last week, Melissa Donovan suggested that we do a question and answer post so that our faithful readers and new readers can ask questions and also suggest topics for future posts. I love the idea.
My plan for the blog is that during the week here L.L.I. I will post new and original posts of an inspirational nature and during the weekend I will do more free form posts of my favorite poetry, quotes, guest blogs (perhaps) or share my thoughts and ideas, or just have updates and conversations. So it seems like the perfect time and place for a question and answer post. Since we are as new as a baby’s bottom, we reserve the right to grow and shapeshift a little as readers share brilliant and wonderful ideas like Melissa did. Thanks Melissa!
So, I have some questions I would like to ask, and I would like your answers, so please respond. Then ask, ask, ask away any questions you have for me, and make any and as many suggestions you have for improving this blog. I have a very thick skin and you aren’t going to hurt my feelings or scare me away. I am very committed to keeping this going, and would really appreciate the feedback and support.
I am really struggling with the technical side of blogging as some of my blogging friends know. It has taken me three weeks to get my blogroll up there and I just got it there last night. Now I have to find the time to add in my favorite sites! Coming soon! But the tech side is coming, inch by inch… and I will prevail, I’m nothing if I’m not stubborn!
Ok, on to the questions!
1) Comments: There are a lot of people visiting this site according to the stats, and the majority of you are lurking. Why? What do I need to do to make you feel more like commenting? I’ll take responsibility for it, but I would like to know what to change to make this a more interactive site where you all want to hang out and chat with each other.
2) What topics would you like to see covered here? Please give me any and all suggestions you have for improving L.L.I Are you more interested in hearing about inspiring people? Problem solving? How-to’s? Are you tired of lists? Want more lists? Please share.
3) What do you feel makes L.L.I stand out as being different or unique from other sites you visit. Does it have a character or a “branding” that is different that you could put in words?
4) What has been your favorite post so far and why?
5) What do like best about L.L.I. and what keeps you coming back as a repeat reader?
Thank you for taking the time to read and answer these questions. I promise that I will take the time to answer your questions too. In addition, to answering them in the comment section this time, I am going to compile them into next weekend’s post, so come back for part two!
Finally, thank you everyone for being here. I am having the time of my life at Life’s Little Inspirations. I may be the one being inspired the most by everyone’s kindness, willingness to share, and support. I have met wonderful people in the past month who already feel like life-long friends and who have helped this project along so much. Saying thanks to everyone just doesn’t seem to be enough…but…
thanks gang, I’m glad we’re all in this together.
The Magical Word
April 1, 2008
Man Builds No Structure Which Outlives a Book
Eugene Ware
The Written word. The stunning, awesome power of the written word. All of our history, all of our collective ideas and creativity, all of our stories and our folklore are recorded and kept alive within the magic of the written word.
You and I are a part of that magic. Those of us, who dare, to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, those of us, who open our minds day after day to see what lies within, and doing so, summon the courage to transcribe it for the scrutiny of others; we, by the very action of writing, create magic.
As a very small child, walking into libraries, I was acutely aware of the magical presence that books held. I have had a love affair with books since I can remember. There was a reverence in my heart that most people reserved for the House of God, but to me, I was quite sure, God lived in Libraries. I would walk up and down every isle, running my little fingers slowly on the backing of all of the adult books, inhaling the fragrance of leather and old books, long past their prime, mingled with the exciting freshness of the new arrivals waiting to be opened.
I could be found curled up in little corners, stacks of books piled high, pouring through classics, poetry, new works of fiction, absorbing the words, lost in new worlds.
Reading was my life. I was a shy, withdrawn girl, with imagination for a best friend. We moved every few years and books were friends you could pack in a box and take with you.
It wasn’t long before reading expanded into writing as well. I discovered that I had the power to not only read about new worlds, but to create my own and bring them to life on paper. I could make new people, find new friends, have adventures. I had the power to create any world I wanted to live in.I was still a child, yet I understood a lesson that would stay with me all of my life.
There is amazing power in the written word.
It has the power to comfort me and listen when I flee to the privacy of my journal and tell it secrets that I could share with no human being. Sometimes secrets that I haven’t even yet figured out for myself.
It has the power to counsel me, as I brainstorm a difficult situation, working out solutions and ideas with word associations and free-flowing thoughts. The combination of my subconscious and the written word can form a bond that can answer many difficult questions.
It has the power to entertain me. To whisk me away to tropical places in the middle off frozen winters. To relieve my stress with a new adventure, to make me laugh, to make me cry, to make me feel alive again when the world had become dull.
It has the power to educate me. Between libraries, bookstores and the Internet, the entire world’s knowledge awaits me if I will take to time to read it. I have an infinite ability to grow and expand my world, on a whim, for work or just to keep my brain young.
It has the power to share my thoughts with others and touch their lives. Share my intimate, authentic truth with candor and heart. I can send a note of sympathy, share a moment of gratitude, or remind a dear one how much they are loved. In this impersonal age, a written note can sometimes be the only true personal moment in someone’s day. With words, we can make a difference.
It has the power to meet new friends. The written word sent out to others, especially in our Internet age, brings people together with like-minded thoughts and interests who may never have met each other before. It builds connections and bonds that create communities. With communities, change can happen. With change, anything is possible.
It has the power to evoke the deepest emotions. It is not a magic power to be taken lightly. Written words sent out can never be taken back. Words written in love, words written in hate have made marriages, ruined friendships, started wars. A writer must understand the weapon of the pen in their hand.
It has the power to change the world. I have often wondered if the writers of the Constitution had any idea what the ramifications of their pens truly would be. Do they look down upon us now and wish they had changed their words just slightly, were perhaps a little more clear, wrote a few more paragraphs? Are they happy with their document? Once out there, it has set the course of not just one nation, but all others affected by it.
There are debates and more debates about who is the most qualified to call themselves a writer.
You are a writer only if you are published…
Or…only if you are paid. Or if you cross the threshold of making “this” much. Or only if you are paid by this type of person or in this format, or this genre or if “that” audience deems you worthy.
In my mind, these are Star-Bellied Sneetch arguments.
A writer is a writer if they write. There is no test to pass that allows you the privilege of picking up a pen and putting your hopes, dreams, thoughts, ideas and imagination on paper. The only way to be a better writer is to write. Write and write often, fail and keep writing and improve. Do it some more and do it from your heart. Don’t ever let anyone tell you not to write.
One of the magical things about words is that they belong to all of us.
Catch on Fire but Don’t Burn the Laundry
March 27, 2008
” Catch on Fire with Enthusiasm and People will Come from Miles to Watch You Burn”
John Wesley
There are days that the moment my feet hit the floor, I am driven by the desire, the passion, the very need, to succeed at my mission. Whatever that mission may be at the time, I can not drive the singular focus out of my head. It is a drumbeat, a rhythm, an obsession that calls to me. Wherever I am, whatever I am doing, I am pulled back to the mission, the plan…the goal…and I am practically useless to anyone or anything else.
My close friends and family call this Wendi’s “radar focus”. It is my best secret for success and my biggest flaw all rolled into one.
I can’t help it.
One thing I am an expert on is enthusiasm. When I catch on fire, its hard to put me out. It can take entire fire departments to derail me and get me back to the land of the living. Smoke ends up all over the place, and things can end up in a big mess as I probably haven’t even looked around at anything else other than my goal for a long time.
One of the things that I have been working in the past few years is balancing my surge of enthusiasm with living in the day to day”real world”. The simple ( well, simple for other people) act of managing parenting and household tasks, along with working, while in the throws of unbridled enthusiasm for a project is very difficult for me to balance. For most people, this is where the enthusiasm starts to ebb away. For me, this is where the laundry starts to pile up.
Often, I get comments from people that know me regarding my enthusiasm. “Man, I wish I had half of your enthusiasm” they say.
That part is easy. Here you go:
Wendi’s Tips for Getting out of Bed on Fire:
1. Find your passion. Name something you feel very strongly or passionately about or something that you have always wanted to do. Journal it, daydream it, play the “If I could do anything I wanted and fear or money was no object, what would it be?” game. Ask yourself what you want your legacy to be at the end of your life. What would you like to be remembered for? What do you most regret having NOT done so far in your life? If there is an answer to any of these questions write it down.
2. Make a list. Write down every single reason you have not taken action on that goal. Look at that list. Everything on that list that has to do with fear, cross off. It doesn’t count. Never run your life based on fear. Dare to fail. It’s good for you. Everything else on that list is a learning experience, not an obstacle. Start numbering them and start learning. Accept no excuses as to why you can’t learn about those things.
3. Start seeing the possibilities. Get out a new piece of paper and write down what your life will look like after you have succeeded in your goal. Will the world be a better place? Will you have improved as a person? See the vision. Make an action plan with the items that were left on your list. Make sure you put it in writing. Just thinking about it isn’t good enough.
4. Break down the vision into reachable goals. Once it starts to look doable, your confidence will start to build. Once you begin to believe it is achievable, the spark of enthusiasm will start to ignite.
5. Fan the flames. Read as much inspirational material as you can from several sources. Zig Zigler, James Allen, Jim Rohn are three sitting on my desk right now. Currently popular are The Secret and Law of Attraction. Whatever feeds your fire is great, but feed it you must, fires require oxygen and positive energy is the enthusiastic fire’s fuel.
6. Proclaim your vision to visionaries-not vampires.Sharing your goals and dreams with other like-minded positive, energetic, enthusiastic people will create a windstorm of energy flowing in your direction. You will feel the current as it swirls around, creating ideas, solutions and connections that you never even dreamed possible. Conversely, share your dreams with an energy vampire and watch them suck the life-energy and confidence right out of your soul. Stay away from them if you can, but for sure, DON’T tell them your plans!
7. Speak the language. Watch the words that are allowed to come out of your mouth. The Bible says “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God.” Do yourself a favor and take this one literally. Words are king! They have the power to affect thought and action. The language of enthusiasm is positive, energized, creative, fun, adventurous, electrified! Don’t speak the language of the defeated, the downtrodden, the bored, the worn out…feel how the energy goes up and down? Keep your energy supercharged with supercharged words.
8. Create a community of Enthusiasts. When I was in Real Estate, I found that the average Realtor was very competitive with other Realtors and therefore did not function in a state of community with other Realtors. It was hard to keep enthusiasm going day after day, year after year all alone in such a stressful job. That is one of the reasons that burn out in that field is very high. Several of us top-producers got together and created a small group that met monthly to brainstorm, share tips and ideas and build enthusiasm. It created synergy and made us all better than we would have been working alone. Helping others to succeed will always help you to build more excitement for yourself. It’s fun and its rewarding. Energy builds energy.
9. Absorb the Vision. Create a written one or two sentence mission statement for your goal and read it and say it out loud to yourself every day. Say it the first thing when you wake up in the morning. Say it the last thing as you are drifting off to sleep at night. Don’t fall asleep listening to the news or negative information. Fall asleep thinking about your mission, reading information about it or writing in your journal about it. You will wake up ready to hit the floor on fire!
10. Keep Physically fit. Make sure your body can keep up with your brain! Its hard to stay on fire, when you are exhausted, sick, sleep-deprived, starving or hung-over. Schedule in time for exercise breaks, healthy meals, fresh air and plenty of sleep.
Now about that second part? Like I said, it’s a work in progress.
I am not an expert on being enthusiastic with balance. Maybe Leo over at Zen Habits can write about that when he is finished with his book, or one of you will have better tips.
So far, what has been helping me is to create rituals that I can do automatically without thinking. The key to this is the “not thinking”part, because I will be up in my head somewhere writing or creating or wondering up a big “what if I do this?” idea for my project. Having systems and routines in place that can happen on auto-pilot has been a huge help. FlyLady.net has been a big help in getting me started with morning and evening routines that have become a daily habit.
Here are just a few of the things that FlyLady has taught us that are making a difference in keeping me on fire without setting the house on fire too. Her website FlyLady.net will explain everything in detail.
1. Create rituals for daily maintenance items. Lay out clothes the night before, pack lunches, get the coffee ready, and her most important one…shine the sink and lay out a fresh towel! It is remarkable how lovely it is to wake up to a shiny sink!
2. Do a load of clothes every day. Wash, dry and put away. Keeping that mountain of laundry from taking over has been a huge help at our house!
3. You can’t clean clutter, get rid of it! The more I do this, the better off we are. Period. End of story.
4. Swish and swipe bathrooms as you “go”. It only takes a few minutes. Really.
5. Plan out weekly dinner menus in advance. Write them on the calendar so you don’t have to think about it, while you are busy thinking about other things!
6. Spend Fifteen Minutes. It’s amazing how much you can do in fifteen minutes. Set a timer and promise yourself that you will spend fifteen minutes on something. You will be surprised how much you get done. Start sneaking in those extra 15 minutes and they start to add up.
I would love for you to leave me your ideas on this too! Although I have come a long way, the only thing I am really good at balancing is my exercise ball! Feel free to send in your tips! I could use them!
Pig farms
March 8, 2008
It’s no good running a pig farm badly for thirty years while saying, “Really I was meant to be a ballet dancer.” By that time, pigs will be your style.Quentin Crisp
I thought I would become a writer when I turned fifty. I have been saying that since I was in my teen years. Teachers, friends, co-workers have commented from time to time, “Hey, you should be a writer.” and my response has always been ” I’m collecting life experiences so that I will have something to write about.”
I figured it would take until about fifty to have enough credible life experiences to be taken seriously.
And… I really believed myself.
What I didn’t see was the delay tactic of a big scared chicken. The unconscious desire to be liked more than the need to get out there and put pen to paper and risk the failure of someone not liking what I wrote.
Being a writer is a risky business. Oh sure, I’ve been doing Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages ( Author of the book the Artist’s Way) for thirty years, long before I ever heard of her or the concept. They are my hand-written journals, documenting the free-flow thoughts of my morning coffee, day after day, year after year. They are taking up space on my bookshelves where no one will read them until I am dead. The only risk in this is that someone might sneak a peak a little early.
Writing for public approval or pay carries a greater risk. Someone might not like you. Someone might not think you know what you are talking about. Someone might tell you you are wrong. Someone might think you were born missing the creative gene. Someone might think you are not worthy enough to carry the title of WRITER after your name.
Wendi Kelly, Writer.
I have worked in the corporate business writing world. As a writer. One would think that this would give a person a sense of reassurance. After all, I was paid to write and consult others about their writing. Yet somehow that venture out into the professional world of writing, working for the boss with the little red pen and nothing nice to say, did more to shake my confidence than all my school teachers combined.
I left that world feeling less like a writer then when I went in. I had become a word processor. Crank them up and spit them out. Cross the T’s and dot the I’s. Don’t get cute, don’t get funny, just say what needs to be said and get out….
I got out.
Now I want back in. In to the world of writing. Pick up the pen, feel the keys of the keyboard tapping under my fingers, clicking out my thoughts, my ideas, good or bad.
Ready to face rejection?
I am about to turn forty eight. Just a few years shy of the big Five-Oh. I guess maybe I have been collecting a giant bag of life experiences to write about, but more importantly, I’ve learned a lot of life lessons that have equipped me for the journey ahead. A huge one is the lesson of rejection.
You can’t hide from it.
It’s out there no matter what you do. So why run a pig farm if you wanted to be a ballet dancer? You still aren’t going to get away from rejection. Pig farmers get rejected too.
I’ll take my chances making my dreams come true.
