Commitment is a funny thing. It will wiggle out of any excuse you give it, any crack in your doubt, any chink in your armor. To be fully committed to a goal, person or situation, you must leave zero room for another option. Zero room for plan B, for excuses, reasons, doubt or maybes. Full on Commitment accepts nothing less than your one hundred percent integrity and promise to show up and give it your best effort. No matter what. Anything less isn’t a commitment. It’s giving it a hearty try. Perhaps still worth doing- but don’t mistake it for commitment, because you won’t reap the same results.
Does that sound harsh? To most people it probably does. We’ve landed in an era where real commitment is in short supply. We say we will do something, we say we are making a commitment and then we give it the “Old College Try”. I have no idea what that worn out cliche even means. Does it mean we plan to fail before we even start?
Anything that has the word “Try” in it is a practice shot. It isn’t a commitment.
“I guess I will…unless…”
Making a commitment that has built-in escape hatches and ready-made already rehearsed excuses to rehash on social media and the local watering hole- just in case- is not commitment.
Saying you are making a commitment and discovering three days in that this just doesn’t work for you and changing your mind is not commitment.
Is it wrong to experiment and try new things and see if you like it? Hell no. Experiment, try new things, in fact, try them often, fail a lot. In fact, fail daily, it’s the road to greatness.
Just don’t say you are making a commitment. Call it an experiment. Tell the truth.
The key here is to be careful with your word. Your word has to mean something. When you give someone your word- whether it is you or someone else, and you make a promise to do something… a commitment to be all in… make sure it is a promise you can keep (short of fire/disaster or life-changing health) or don’t make it.
Be careful with that word commitment. Your word is your integrity. Your word is your promise. Both to yourself and to others. Your word is the key to your self-respect and gaining the respect of others.
Here is how it works in a nutshell
If you can’t trust your own word and integrity, you won’t believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, you will have a difficult time trusting yourself. If you don’t trust yourself, you will have a hard time supporting yourself when the chips are down. If you can’t support yourself when the chips are down, you will have an even harder time being kind to yourself. If you are not kind to yourself, you will have a really hard time loving yourself.
If you don’t love yourself, it will be impossible to love others, to trust others, to have healthy, strong, wonderful relationships with others.
If you don’t have wonderful relationships with others, you will miss out on amazing opportunities that would have come your way to create the life you were designed to have.
If you don’t have the life you were designed to live, you begin running self-depreciating tapes in your mind, calling yourself a loser, and a failure and wondering if this life is a waste of time and why bother anyhow?
You see a pattern here? Does this feel a bit familiar? Maybe even scary?
You have the power to change all of it.
It is really important for you to hear that last sentence. You…Have…The…Power.
You have the power to start making your word mean something.
Here are some tips to get you started.
- Start small. Only make teeny-tiny promises that you are certain you can keep.
- Quit lying and saying yes to promises you already know you won’t keep but don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. You are going to hurt their feelings and piss them off anyhow when you don’t keep the commitment, so get it over with right now. It’s like ripping off a band-aid. Do it. Say no. You will feel the power. (It feels great. )
- Start with yourself. Make a commitment to yourself today and keep it. Show up. Whatever it is, make it tiny and fulfill that promise. Be Proud. Celebrate. And then do it again. Add up a pile of successes. Show yourself that you are a person that can keep your word to yourself.
- Become a person of discernment. Get realistic. Don’t make commitments that are impossible for you to keep. Take the time to think things through. Look at a commitment as something you are going to do if you have to walk through fire to get it done. Are you REALLY going to do it NO MATTER WHAT? Maybe not so much? Can you already hear yourself making the back door plans? That is your first clue that this is a hell no. Say no.
- Forget the past. It’s over. Don’t let the voices in your head remind you of all the times you blew your commitments before. Your word and integrity are as powerful as your choices in THIS VERY MOMENT. This is the moment that you have the power. Choose to use it. The past isn’t driving your car. You are.
- Watch your self-talk. Let one of your commitments be to use loving self-talk whenever you are aware. Whenever you catch yourself not using loving self-talk, instantly begin again to use loving self-talk. Notice I didn’t say, ‘beat yourself up for screwing up and being a loser”. Just tune in, and readjust. Live Awake to the chatter in your mind, and make sure you are committed to a positive-talk station in your head and heart.
The word commitment can and will change your life if you give it back the integrity and power it deserves. It isn’t a word to take lightly. It isn’t one to be tossed around or ignored. Words have power. Some more than others and that one… can blow your life up or fill it with magic.
You have the power to choose.
*******An important word about having the power to choose. Some of our population suffers from health issues that make choosing a difficult struggle. There are days and times when the power to choose is elusive or feels out of our control. I myself have been in this category at one time or another due to physical and mental struggles. It might feel like all of our power has been stripped away, but we still have important choices to make. We can reach out. We can talk to someone. We can call in professionals, or friends, or someone who can help. We do not have to struggle alone. Sometimes the first step to a better life is simply to reach out and ask for help.
You don’t have to do this alone. If you are ready to make a commitment to do the work and change your life, click here.