It has taken me until January 23 this year to distill this year up ahead down to one solitary word that I can use as my word of intention.
For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of Intention, Christine Kane does a wonderful job of explaining it over at her place and I highly recommend that you go there for a better explanation than I am going to give you now.
The idea is that you pick a word that symbolizes a theme you are going to focus your goals and concentration on throughout the year and that through the process, your energies will move in that direction. “As a Man Thinketh, So is He” said the great thinker James Allen, and the concept of Intention works on that same principle.
I think the reason I was struggling with what it was I wanted to focus on is because I have been journeying down a long path for the last handful of years toward authenticity. Each year, I have been peeling off layer after layer of this shrinking onion, trying to find the core, only to discover another thinly veiled peel that needed to come away.
While on one hand, I can say that I honestly endeavour to be myself at all times, I can also honestly say, I don’t always know exactly who that self currently is. I think it has caused over the last few years a sense of growing confusion and a disorientation, a lack of balance in my being. I am an ever evolving being, caught in a tide of change, between parenthood and middle age, between being someones wife and someones daughter, someone else’s friend and someone else’s mother. And then the grandchildren come over and I have these moments of looking in the mirror and wondering when the clock ran away.
And always, always, I am a child of God, in my quiet times alone, it is easy to remember that I was put here to serve and to help and to grow and to learn and to….what?
To be REAL.
To feel. To live in the moment and be all of those things at the moment that each of them come along.
But hanging on to that realness is a challenge.
SO….my challenge for this year is to embrace the raging tide with grace and dignity. To acknowledge all of the different forces and roles and needs that are all REAL parts of who I currently am and find the boundaries and balance and structure that can make my life REAL and at the same time manageable.
Maybe this only makes sense to me. Maybe this is a light that has only gone off in a small corner of my mind. But it is having a huge impact.
I was listening to Christine Kane’s song and it hit me like a brick.
I deserve to live REAL.
Listen for yourself and you might see what I mean. Click on the link and scroll down to the bottom of the page to find the song.
Thank you Christine. “Here’s To How it Feel’s To Be Real”
Friar says
That’s similar to what I learned from the Seven Habits course.
Franklin Covey says we should come up with one word, or one phrase, to describe our values and priorities.
I still haven’t figured that one out for myself.
(It’s not as easy as it sounds!)
Friar’s last blog post..18 Tips Guaranteed to Save the Planet……and Make you Miserable!
Brett Legree says
Interesting. I read your words, and thought about it for a minute or two, and thought about the mission statement I had written when Friar & I took the Seven Habits training.
And though my interests are really varied, for me it is always about the story. There is always a story somewhere behind it, something to be told. You have seen my mind map, and you can probably see what I mean here.
My word – storyteller.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..viking mondays? courage.
Stacey Shipman says
Good word, Wendi and good luck! Living real is important and it seems to be a popular theme!
The one word that keeps coming up for me is freedom – it is one word that means so much, to me anyway.
Friar says
@Wendi
See? I didnt’ make a smart-ass comment! (except maybe this one!) 😉
Friar’s last blog post..18 Tips Guaranteed to Save the Planet……and Make you Miserable!
Joanna Young says
Wendi, none of us can entirely understand, but I will tell you that I got huge sense of recognition, of resonance from your post. Recognising what it means to you, and probably also because I recognise so much of myself in those in-between states you describe so well.
Off to listen to the song, thank you.
Joanna Young’s last blog post..Quotes on Writing and Audacity
ibirish55 says
Being real? Elegant? For me, doubtful. Being real can be costly so consider that word you choose for this year.
Being real for me this year is recognizing that I need to start finding the time and ambition to tend to monetary and health issues. This means staying home more, which will make me
more isolated from friends and the world than I am now, and it
is already tough. Guess I could just up the Zoloft to get through, but then is that being real? Boy, this being real stuff is hard. LOL!
Christine Kane says
Thank YOU Wendi! Choosing to live my life authentically is what started EVERYTHING rolling for me. So allow me to be one voice that says there is NO other way to live. You go girl! 🙂
Christine Kane’s last blog post..Live as if You Were Sacked Already
Wendi says
Friar,
Yes, It is very Similiar..and NO…it isn’t easy…either to come up with…or to live and walk the walk. We have our family mission statement hanging in our kitchen right next to the kitchen table where we can see it every single day and still….
well…all I can say is..its a goal to strive for…
Brett,
Yes Brett, I can see the storyteller in you. Very much so. I remember the story you wrote on your blog about the invasion at the factory. There are a lot more where that came from. You should let them out.
Stacey,
I love the word Freedom. I can remember wanting that to be my word as a teen. I used to tell my mom, “I want to be FREE…” and she would say to me, “No one is free, we are all connected to each other. Every pebble makes a wave.” So I stopped thinking about freedom. I realized what I had really wanted was to be UNresponsable for anything or anyone. . I grew up. Then I started thinking about Choice. and the freedom to choose. That worked for me.
Yet….still…it still makes a wave. I have to admit…I haven’t figured that part out yet.
Wendi says
Joanna,
Thank you for that. I hope you enjo the song. 🙂
Ibirish55
I agree that being real can be costly. But I have watched how NOT being real has caused way too much suffering in silence and hidden pain in the shadows. I think that being Real may be a process, but in the end…there IS fresh air and a sense of freedom to live as you please out in the open without that weight that I know you are experiencing right now. Join me…you won’t be alone. and yes…you CAN be elegant. 🙂
Wendi says
Christine,
Thanks for stopping by. You are a great example and your story is an inspiration to anyone who thinks it can’t be done. If anyone has doubts, go check out her site. She did it…and so can we.
Oh and by the way…her music is awesome!
Brett Legree says
Wendi,
I do plan on it, believe me – stories that are not shared are sort of like restless souls, I think.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..a perfect storm.
Friar says
@Wendi
I”m not sure exactly what my mission statement is yet, but I know it will include the words “Laugh” and “Play”. 🙂
Friar’s last blog post..Update on Basil the Special Dog
Emily@remodelingthislife says
Hi Wendi – I came here via Writer Dad b/c I loved your comment there and the name of your blog. This post reminds me of something I wrote last year after reading the Velveteen Rabbit to my daughter. To be real has been and continues to be a goal of mine and is the inspiration behind all that I do in trying to reframe my life into something that feels right to me. This post spoke to me, so thank you!
Emily@remodelingthislife’s last blog post..Link Love: Baby, It’s Cold Outside Edition
Wendi says
@Emily
Hi! Sorry it took me awhile to welcome you here, I’ve been running around a bit, but welcome to our community!
I love the story The Velveteen Rabbit. It’s great.
If you like that, have you ever read Peef, The Christmas Bear?
My ALL TIME favorite Christmas story about Santa’s Teddy Bear who longs to become REAL.
Warning…bring your kleanex box.
I hope you will stay and continue to journey with us this year as we work on being real, work on being true our purpose and goals and help each other stay inspired in whatever we try to do!
Jenny says
Wendi,
While being real can mean so many things to so many people, I believe you have a clear vision in your head about what it will take for you to be real. I’ve always thought you were real anyway so I am interested in what you find. I’ve never thought about the whole process of being “real” and what it exactly means for me. I know there are times that I am not real, but sometimes it is warranted. I hope you keep all of us here updated on your progress throughout the year, who knows it may just inspire someone!
Jenny’s last blog post..Something To Believe In