Twiddling Thumbs

April 30, 2008

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.

~Robert Benchley

 

Why is it that when I am supposed to be cleaning the house, I am compelled to write, when I am supposed to be writing, I am compelled to clean, when I am supposed to be working in the garden, I wish to be indoors, when I am supposed to be working indoors, my nose is pressed against the glass, gazing at the garden?

We don’t even need to get into checking the e-mail do we????

Procrastination.

I was supposed to write this yesterday but I procrastinated and took a nap. Then I checked my e-mail and twiddled my thumbs. I was still tired. What’s a girl to do?  It was a bad day. It started with no coffee and went downhill from there.

It happens to the best of us ( and that ain’t necessarily me) once in awhile. It happens to the rest of us now and then. It happens to a few of us all the time. And that’s when the big trouble starts.

Procrastination sucks the life out of dreams, hopes, goals and plans. It is a monster that ruins marriages, friendships, business partnerships, and any other type of relationship you can have. It can get you fired. It can ruin your reputation.

Ahhhhh, no it won’t…not me…I can handle it, I’ve been doing it all my life. I did all my term papers the night before; I juggle ten things at once, pull all nighters for important company projects, and own stock in every caffeine drink there is.

Oh yeah?

I know you. You drive the people around you crazy. They just are too nice to tell you. Or if they tell you, it goes in one ear and out the other. You live on adrenaline and you make us live on it too. Even though we don’t want to. You spend your life living like a fire truck, putting out fires, one after the other, swinging your hose all over the place, getting everything wet.

Well guess what. It isn’t as productive as you think it is. Everything is piled up and your dreams and hopes and goals are all piled up too. And you are ticking everyone off. However productive you think you are, you could get more done, if you had a little planning and weren’t wasting so much time twiddling your thumbs before you started driving that fire truck all over the dang town.

Besides. Other then that awesome adrenaline rush and King of the Hill feeling every time you’ve pulled it off again…( don’t ask me how I know that) you know that it really does make you feel rather bad and tarnishes your self esteem quite a bit the rest of the time.  It’s like a drug. It may feel good for a few minutes, but it just isn’t good for you. It needs to stop if you want to do your best work.

OK LECTURE OVER— on to the helpful part…

How to Stop Procrastinating

The first key to stop procrastinating is to determine what type of procrastinator you are.

The experts have their Doc opinions but for us simpler folk, I’ve narrowed it down to these categories.

• The Rebel This is mine- I’ll go first. I rebel against everything, even lists I made myself. As SOON as I make something my first priority on the top of the list, there is a nasty little excuse monster that starts up in my head that has a reason- and dang if it isn’t a GOOD reason- that I really should be doing something else first instead. I work, hard too, I just am doing something else other than what I was supposed to get done. I just don’t like to follow orders. I want to be free to wander about unstructured. I…am…a…brat. You would think a person would grow out of this. But I am loosing hope.
• The Thumb Twiddler This poor guy’s got it bad. It is the “In a minute” syndrome. “I’m just going to sit here and twiddle my thumbs and read one more e-mail, watch one more minute of soaps, read one more chapter. This person’s behind never leaves the chair. There is no time management because there is no sense of time. Time is twiddled away and at the end of the day, they are shocked to find out that the day has left and they don’t even know where it went.
• The Adrenaline Junkie It takes a strong shot of the “juice” to motivate this one. Just looking at the “To do” list doesn’t quite do it. Somewhere along the line they lost their ability to move without a swift kick in the rear. All the other categories default to this eventually, the difference is, that while most of us hate it when we find ourselves here, the junkie lives for it.
• The Cowardly Lion This fellow would love to get things done-if only he could decide what to do. The last thing he wants to do is procrastinate. He is just waiting until he gets the job done perfectly. Fear of failure is paralyzing the Lion and keeping him tied up in ropes.

Once you have identified which type of procrastinator you are you can take steps to work on helpful hints to undo it. Procrastinators aren’t born. It is a learned behavior. That’s the good news! It can be unlearned. It is based on habits and conscious and unconscious beliefs that we have about ourselves that keep us circling in destructive patterns. By becoming proactive, we can fight procrastination and reach our goals.

You may have felt like you have identified with more than one or that you thought of more. That’s OK. Whatever the list sparked for you, write it down and see what insight you just got. The important thing is recognizing the key patterns of behavior so that we can begin to take charge of it.

Here are some tips to take charge of each of the four basic types of procrastinators.

• The Rebel Be prepared! Awareness is the biggest part of the cure. As soon as you know that little voice is coming, you’ve already won because you are not caught off guard. Also plan your list carefully and plan it ahead of time. Make sure that your list is prioritized so that it truly has the A+ priorities in the right order so you aren’t second guessing yourself in the moment. Remind yourself-over and over-if you have to, that you have a choice, you are free to choose and you are choosing to keep your eyes on the goal, and that you want to be the best you can be. Give yourself rewards for sticking to the list. After each one is checked off, take a timed five to ten minute break, and tell yourself what a great job you did. You earned it and you love being your own boss! Then get to the next one, check that clock and see how quickly you can get that task done so you can get to that next break! After all, you are the boss! (By the way, I took my break at Dave Naverro’s site today. When you are done here go there. He has a really good article today about motivation.)
• The Thumb Twiddler Look, here is the bad news. You have to go cold turkey. You need to identify your time wasters and put them aside until after you get some work done. Do not touch them even for one second. Remember when your Mom told you to eat your vegetables first and then you can eat your dessert? Well she was right. But it doesn’t have to be quite as bad as all that. You do have to eat your veggies first, but you don’t have to eat everything on your plate all in one sitting. Part of your trouble is you feel so overwhelmed by the big picture that you never start. We are going to break it up. This is the FLyLady fifteen minute rule and it’s brilliant. You just can’t sit down on your Bum until you’ve started, OK? Good. Go get a Timer. Set it for Fifteen Minutes. NOW START Your Project and don’t stop until the timer goes off. Now you can take a timed break and then set it for a new fifteen minutes and work again. Honestly, I think you should go to the FlyLady website right now. You need her if you are a Thumb Twiddler.
• The Adrenaline Junkie First realize your addiction is to the thrill, not the procrastination. Now, here’s the deal. Take up bungee jumping and get your work done! OR Do something crazy like my friend Brett at Six Weeks. ( Don’t click on that link until we’re done here- you’re just trying to get out of this) Make a deal with yourself. Give yourself something to look forward to. Barter yourself. Say- “Self- here’s the deal. We are going to set up a new deadline on that project for one week early and the next day after we finish it, we are going to roll down a hill in a giant Hamster ball.” (Ask Brett, OK, you can click on the link, but come right back.) Put up a picture of the giant hamster ball on your mirror where you brush your teeth. Put it on the fridge. Make it visual. Put it all over. You need the constant rush of looking at it everywhere or it will wear off and you won’t stay motivated to get your work done. Keep yourself inspired with excitement not related to your work! Also, you might want to examine why it is that your work isn’t exciting to you. Are you avoiding doing it because it is the wrong work for you altogether? Does your personality need something else? We weren’t all put here to sit at a desk. Take a good look inside. Don’t avoid the big questions.
• The Cowardly Lion You, my friend, are a perfectionist. I know that you are looking all around you at your stacks of unfinished work and mess and clutter and you are shaking your head no and thinking….oh, she is talking about somebody else. No…I am talking about you. Yes, Felix from The Odd Couple was a perfectionist, and that is who we tend to think of when we use that term, but there is another perfectionist and that is the one who so wants to be perfect and so fears messing up and is so afraid that the world will see our flaws that we freeze like a deer in headlights and don’t get anything done. So do this one thing. Start. Just start. And know that you are going to fail at it a little bit anyway so it won’t matter. Just say to yourself…good enough is better than not doing it at all. Pick JUST one thing-set the timer for fifteen minutes and Get started. By the way, Flylady is an expert on perfectionists. She can really help you too.

I am sure that this isn’t an exhaustive list. There is a lot more. This is a drop in the bucket. There are posts and posts to be written on each one of these. What are some of the things that you do to fight procrastination? Which ones do you identify with? How do you manage time?

Speaking of time….I have to go……

I promised Dave I would come back. Want to come with? click on the link below

But don’t forget to leave a comment first if you want to, and subscribe too if you want in the top corner!

DAVE’S POST Staying Motivated When It All Goes To Hell

 

My Attitude, My Choice

April 29, 2008

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others giving away the last piece of bread. They may have been few in number- but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

~Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

 

 Somewhere around the age thirteen, something inside of my brain must have gone haywire. Although it wasn’t readily apparent to me, my mother was instantly aware of the break down and went on HIGH ATTACK MODE to get this offending part of my brain back in working order.  The offensive part of my brain no longer working was my ATTITUDE.

IT needed a changing.

I know this because she told me. Daily. Sometimes hourly.

“You better change your at-it-ude young Lady……” she glared at me, eyes narrowed, finger wagging…

” And just how do I DO that…specifically?” I would retort, I admit with a high level of sarcasm, but also with a great deal of confusion. I had no idea what an ATTITUDE was. Let alone, any clue of how to CHANGE it. This ongoing conversation befuddled my mind. My attitude was obviously wrong, up to no good, and in need of fixing. It was also…out of MY CONTROL. Because at the age of thirteen, I had no idea that attitude could be changed, controlled, or corrected.

In fact, I still didn’t understand it for several years after that. By seventeen, I found out that I had a “CHIP” on my shoulder as well. How the heck that got there, I hadn’t a clue. Must have grown there as a result of my broken and bad at-ti-tude. All I knew was that I didn’t put it there. It sure as HECK wasn’t MY fault. And whoever had put it there, could just come and take it off themselves, it wasn’t MY problem…cause I didn’t CARE what other people thought. I was busy doing my own thing.

I would like to tell you that one day I woke up with a wonderful epiphany that miraculously saved me from my rotten disposition and knocked the chip off my shoulder, but unfortunately it took me becoming a student in a long-term program at the School of Hard Knocks. In fact I signed up for my PhD.  What I realized as I went from one trial and tribulation to the next in the exciting adventure that became the LIFE OF WENDI is that no matter how hard things got to be, I was -in fact- in charge of how I felt about it and what I was going to do about it. I learned that I had choices. I could choose how I wanted to react and that the choices I made directly affected the outcome and other people’s reactions.

Hmmm.

There was that old cause and affect thing my ol’ mom had been trying to lecture me about the whole time…

As a Man Thinketh so He is…

Hmmm…

Attitude.

You can change your attitude by changing your thoughts. If you can choose your thoughts, you can choose your attitude. By choosing your attitude, you can affect your outcomes. By affecting your outcomes, you can change your life. By changing your life, you change lives for everyone.

In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey explains Victor Frankl’s experience in the Nazi concentration camps. Frankl, both a psychiatrist and a Jew, was imprisoned along with his wife, parents, brother and sister. His parents, brother and wife all died in the camps, or were sent to the gas ovens. Frankl suffered the tortures and inhuman indignities, never knowing from one day to the next what his fate would be. Victor Frankl realized in the midst of such horror that in the moment between the stimulus and the response there was a fundamental principle about the nature of man… the freedom to choose.

When I made this discovery in my own life, somewhere in my young-twenties, my life took on a drastic turn. No longer was I a victim, blowing in the wind, feeling angry at the twists and turns that life had DONE to me. I was in control. I had choices. I could forgive. I could choose to forget and move on. I could just let go and think about something else. Move forward. Make a plan.

Make a life. Change my attitude. Get happy.

No more chip on my shoulder.

It isn’t easy. Sometimes we don’t really know what we are thinking. Sometimes we don’t always know what we are feeling. A little later in my life, a decade or so later, my train got off track. I didn’t notice right away. I thought I was happy. I wanted to be happy. I was successful. That felt euphoric. I confused that with happy. I didn’t pay attention. I didn’t listen to my inside voices. I stuffed them down. I stuffed in food instead. I got more successful. I also got more large. I got more confused. I ate more food. I got more successful. I got less happy. I got FAT. I got a BAD FAT ATTITUDE.

I had no idea what was wrong. I didn’t know why I was sad, why my life was a big mess, why I was miserable and why everyone else thought I was a big huge wonderful success.

I wasn’t making choices anymore. I was reacting to life, not choosing life. I wasn’t listening to my inner voices, I wasn’t choosing to have good thoughts, I wasn’t paying attention to what internal scripts were running around in my head or whether or not I was going to let them play in there. I was blowing in the wind again.

I started paying attention. Making choices. I lost 50 pounds. Changed jobs. Put my family first. Changed my life so that it reflected my values and principles, not a paycheck. I got happy again.

Are you blowing in the wind? Are you making choices? Or are you just reacting to choices that other people are making for you? You can choose your attitude. You can change your life.  You have the freedom to choose.

Where are the areas of your life that you have learned the lessons of choice? Where are the areas that you still can work on choosing?

Are you listening to your inner voice?

How is your attitude?

Masterminds and Daffodils

April 27, 2008

We begin to see, therefore, the importance of selecting our environment with the greatest of care, because environment is the mental feeding ground out of which the food that goes into our minds is extracted.
Napoleon Hill

The Weekend Wrap Up

Napoleon Hill is planted firmly on my mind due to Crystal at BigBrightBulb this week. She has been doing a series on Making a Million with 1000 True Fans, which has been fascinating both in it’s potential for each one of us, and for the discussions it brought forth. Make sure you catch the entire series and don’t miss the comment section! There were some great insights added there as well!

One of the key components of Napoleon Hill’s theories is the idea of building a Mastermind group of like-minded people to brainstorm with, share ideas and discussion and in doing so- build creativity and energy, making the whole of the group much greater than any of the individual parts on their own. I have watched many of the sites listed in my bloglog this week do just that. Many of the discussions, articles and comments have become interwoven and connected, the ideas and feelings creating an energy and a community that is becoming a being that is much greater than its individual parts. We are becoming our own Mastermind! That is a wonderful thing to behold. Take a moment to peek in on the conversations that have been going on and become a part of this wonderful community if you haven’t already. It’s a very friendly and welcoming group!

Speaking of that, you may notice that I have added a new name to the Blogroll this week. Tei over at Rogue Ink has been blogging just about as long as I have and she has some great things going on over there. It seems a little odd to be saying “For a good time, go check out Tei…” but I think it’s pretty accurate. Go over and say hi if you haven’t been there and tell her Wendi sent you.

Poetry Time

I chose this poem this week because the spring flowers are starting to come up in my yard and the first tulips and daffodils have burst into bloom all around me. It’s easier to have faith in doing what I know I should be doing this time of year when I see these amazing flowers emerging from the ground after pushing through the frozen winter ground to find the sun. Whatever the obstacles, we can make our way to springtime.

Thank you for being a part of this community and being a flower in this beautiful garden.

Daffodils - a poem by by William Wordsworth

 I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,

They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
 

 
 
 
 
 

Having Faith

April 25, 2008

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.
-Robert Benchley

It’s a good thing that Robert didn’t find out earlier. What a different world it might have been. Robert Benchley sold his first piece of paid writing in 1914 and his work continues to sell, inspire and entertain to this day.

His son Nathanial Benchley became a well known author of children and teen books and wrote the book The Off-islanders in 1962, which became the motion picture titled “The Russians are coming, the Russians are coming. He received an Academy award nomination for writing the Adapted Screenplay. His novel, Welcome to Xanadu became the 1975 movie Sweet Hostage.

Perhaps younger fans will be most familiar with his grandson, Peter Benchley, author of the famed novel Jaws.

Three generations of authors influencing our history. What would have happened if he had *realized* he had no talent? Would he have inspired his son or his grandson to become writers? How would their lives have been different? How would yours? Where were you the first time you saw that famous shark rise out of the ocean?

Writer’s words change lives. They change other peoples thoughts, they propel people to action. They make us laugh. They make us cry. Sometimes they make us angry.

Or fall in love.

But I’m not a writer-so you say. Maybe you think you have no talent. Maybe you think the words you have bubbling up inside you are words that no one needs to hear? Maybe you never pick up a pen. Maybe you write with spoken words, or paint or dance or modeling clay. But you do have something to say. And if you are holding it in, is it building up inside of you? Maybe you have never paid attention to it before. Listen. You can feel it. It’s that yearning. It’s that pressure that pushes out from inside of you. It wants to go somewhere. It wants to be heard. It needs to be heard.

 We all have a voice and we all have something to say. We all have questions as to the what and the why’s of this world and no-we might not have all the answers, but its ok to write while we are journeying on, working them out together, forming new ideas, hearing new solutions. Sharing our experiences with each other.

Somebody is listening somewhere. Somebody needs to hear what you have already figured out. Somebody needs a hand up, a little help along the way. Or they need to know that you are struggling too, that they are not alone. They need to know that they are not a lone tree falling in the forest. That you are there and will catch them when they fall, that your words will hold them up-because you have been there first. Maybe all you have to say today is great job or I love you, but these can be powerful words too. Don’t underestimate what you have to say. Someone needs to hear it.

But I’m not good enough.-Yes you are. Write from your heart. Write from your soul. Speak the words. Let it out and have faith that somebody is listening. If you are true to what you are feeling, I promise, someone else is feeling it too. None of us are ever truly alone.

But I’m not creative enough- I believe that true creativity comes from letting go. Not pushing it. Not trying too hard to cram all the pieces together. Get empty and see what comes to fill in the space. Say what if…and let the pieces fall into all new places. Don’t hold on to anything, just follow the wave and it will take you places you would never have dreamed of.

But I don’t have time- I don’t think we have time NOT to. Taking the time to formulate our thoughts and feelings, perhaps putting them down on paper or whatever medium we choose is a valuable use of time that grounds us. It highlights our center, our values, our key trouble spots and the secrets that lie within. Whether we are writing for others, or ourselves, these words need an outlet. It isn’t a healthy thing to ignore them while they clamor away for attention like a nagging child inside of us. Ignored for too long, they become sullen, depressed, hidden in the corner, while we become more and more detached from the authentic self that is our true spirit. Get out your pen! Go find yourself! Go listen to what you have to say!

I never know what I think about something until I read what I’ve written on it.
-William Faulkner

I have my grandmother’s stories and poetry. Long gone now, she wrote not for fame or fortune but to be connected to her spirit. She wrote her poems to God. She poured out her questions, cried out her heartache, searched for the answers to the mysteries that defied her.

She was an artistic, creative soul. Lost sometimes in the depth of Bi-polar confusion, she struggled to make sense of the ever-changing world in her mind. Through her stories, through her poetry, her grandchildren and great-grandchildren will always have a glimpse into the brilliance that resided there. She was beautiful. Her writing is her legacy. Did she know we would be listening? One of her poems, written on a Christmas morning was titled “To my Grandchildren.”

WE listen.

Have faith. Write. Write from your heart. Somebody is listening.

 

 

Blowing out Candles

April 24, 2008

Another birthday week has passed us by in our birthday intense family. No worries, there will be more. Between my large family and my Irish husband’s clan, there is never a shortage of birthday cake and parties to go around. Never a lack of reasons to gather the troops, fire up the grills or ovens, let the music play and the laughter begin.

One thing we are good at is celebrating and playing. Birthdays aren’t the only reasons to be bringing out the cake and candles though. Celebrations remind us of what all the hard work is for. It’s the victory at the top of the hill. Even if the hill is small.  It’s the TA-DA when you finally get it right. It’s taking the moment to appreciate everyone around you and be grateful for the privelege of playing the game we call Life.

“Each day comes bearing it’s own gifts. Untie the ribbons”
-Ruth Ann Schabacker

It is so easy to get caught up in the work of our daily toil. It is never-ending. For most of us, the To-Do list is a mountain that is never going to be fully scaled. It is a two steps forward, one step back sort of thing- if we are lucky. If we aren’t so lucky, it can be a slippery slope toward self-loathing as we beat ourselves up for what we never seem to get done. Learning to celebrate and play is an important tool and life lesson for success and happy living.

Why Celebrate?

Celebrating our victories helps to keep us focused on what we are accomplishing rather than what we aren’t getting done. James Allen states “As a Man thinketh so is he.”  If you are thinking of yourself as a person who gets things done, chances are you are going to feel better about continuing the momentum. If you are thinking of yourself as a loser who never finishes anything, that becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy as well.

One of the best tips I have ever heard concerning the To- Do list was instead of crossing off or checking off the completed items on your list, highlight them in your favorite color of highlighter. How much more fun is it at the end of the day to look at a nice bright pink, blue or green page rather than an ugly scratched out list. That isn’t very appealing! Celebrate your hot pink day! Go you!

Celebrating our victories helps to deter procrastination.  No one wants to work day in and day out, struggling though the sludge of drudgery with no end in sight. If you doubt it, spend time working with children or pets! They want that immediate treat, the fun reward. They want to know what is coming next AFTER the work. They spend their work time thinking about the ice cream party coming after, the doggie treat in your pocket or the positive reinforcement and praise that may be the reward. Nothing energizes them more than the prize at the end of the rainbow. But take away the incentive and work them over and over without a happy goal in sight and suddenly the focus is lost. They are dragging their feet, they are too tired, they suddenly remember excuses that are mountains high. And that doggie? It will just lay down and go to sleep. You can’t teach an unmotivated dog a new trick.

However, when it comes to being our own personal coach, we forget to plan time in for celebrations. We keep plodding on and then wonder why we are exhausted, burnt out and have no motivation to continue on. Playing isn’t a luxury, it’s an important part of getting the job done!

Celebrating our victories together promotes teamwork and friendship. Sometimes we feel like we don’t deserve to celebrate. We minimize our accomplishments and successes and feel like we don’t deserve to take the time or we feel like we are bragging. What we DON’T take into consideration is that when we treat ourselves this way, what we are telling others is that when they celebrate -what they are really doing is being a slackard while WE are the hard worker. Well, hey martyr, get off the cross they need the wood to build a campfire! Of course, no one means to send this message. It is an unconscious, worn-out old tape that is stuck in our heads that we don’t even hear. It is a knee-jerk reaction of being very responsible and wanting to please everyone.  After all, there IS too much work to be done, and SOMEBODY does have to do it. It just doesn’t have to be you right this minute. When we work as a team and then play as a team, everyone comes out a winner. So come on down and take a rest, it’s not only good for you, it’s good for everyone else too!

Celebrating makes the job more pleasant. Mary Poppins says “A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, in the most delightful way.”  Her secret to success is that she starts celebrating even WHILE she is working. Mary knows that as long as the work is getting done, there is no reason not to crank the tunes, start the singing and have some fun! Why NOT whistle while you work? Why NOT sing a happy tune? Why NOT make a game out of it? Who says we have to act like boring grown-ups all the time? Who says that the only way to get the job done is to take it seriously? Safety first…YES…seriously boring? NO WAY!!! Let the good times roll! For sure you will have more people willing to work with you the next time! Nobody lines up to work with Oscar the Grouch!

Looking Forward to Blowing out the Candles

Remember the last time you were at a small child’s birthday party? Remember how excited that child was when it came time to blow out the candles? Remember how all the other children leaned in close, wanting to be as big a part of the candles as they could be, a few of them even gathering up their lips to help with some participatory air? Children love to blow out the candles. They often even have to be reminded to make a wish! They are delighted, entranced, right there in the moment, their entire little bodies all jazzed up with glee. They don’t stop to think, “Gee, I’m not worthy of this attention and effort. Gosh everyone, really…you shouldn’t have… I didn’t work hard enough, I don’t deserve candles this year.”

Nope. They squeal. They clap their hands in appreciation. They scrunch up their little eyes and lips and blow… hard. Often, all they want to do is do it all over again. They’re in for the game. They’re in for the fun. They don’t second guess anything. They just let it all go.

When was the last time you really let go like that? When was the last time you were able to put down the Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda list and the To-Do list and went out and really played? Looked forward to doing something with the same total abandon as a child blowing out candles?

Remember this! Whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it
-Luke:18:17

Life is difficult. That isn’t going to change. Not for any of us. We have to become ON PURPOSE about finding the gifts and presents that each day has to offer, untie the ribbons and celebrate. We need to remember what it feels like to play like children. It isn’t only the Kingdom of Heaven you have a better chance at, but the Kingdom here on Earth as well. If you are having too much trouble, follow the kids, follow the pets. They will remind you. Follow the laughter, follow the glee, follow the wagging tail. Remember what it feels like to play again.

Remember what it feels like to blow out the candles.

 

 

The Garden Gate

April 22, 2008

 

Through the gate is something more. Does it make you wonder? What lies beyond the garden gate? What majesty? What splendor?

Or are you busy rushing by, not taking time to notice. Does every moment have you booked, tick-tock, your time is over….wake up tomorrow, do it again..tick-tock…tick-tock…tick-tock.

Busyness. Rushing around. Fitting it all in. Adding one more thing to the already over loaded to-do list. Juggling all the balls up in the air. Praying, hoping they will just stay up there. Somehow.

God, it’s exhausting.

Where is the balance? Where is the peace and tranquility? Where is the time for creativity, family, laughter?

At the Garden Gate.

At the garden gate, if you choose to open the gate and walk in, you will find the peace you are looking for. You will find the time to spend with family. You can paint. You can play. You can read, You can play ball, go for walks, exercise, whatever you want to do. Go fishing. What do you want to do beyond the gate? What dream have you been putting on hold? It can happen.

You just have to make that choice. Go ahead. Walk through the gate.

But….if I walk through the gate….I won’t have time for………

What? Finish that thought. What are the time wasters that are keeping you from walking through the Garden Gate?

Are you….

Over-promised with commitments that really aren’t that important to you anymore but you don’t know how to get out of?

Over-extended with family and friend obligations that feel like *have-to* events that cut into meaningful family time?

Over-prioritizing unnecessary time-wasters like Internet, computer games, TV that are really just procrastination devices?

Overwhelmed with disorganized habits and clutter that slow you down and cause you to be inefficient with your time?

What others? There are more, many more.

What can we do to get closer to the gate? To open it more often? At least get in for a visit now and then. Maybe hang out on the weekends for starters. Then work our way up to an hour or two every day. After awhile, you may realize a wonderful surprise. It is possible to LIVE in the garden all the time. It can become a lifestyle. It isn’t easy at first, and it takes breaking some habits. But it’s worth it. The garden is a beautiful, peaceful, wonderful place to live where you have time to explore your hobbies and spend time with families and friends, and enjoy long interesting conversations filled with laughter and fun.

Here are a few of the things that our family has done to enjoy more time beyond the Garden Gate.

Turn off the TV. Unless we are enjoying a family night watching a movie together with popcorn and the whole fun deal, the TV isn’t on. No sitcoms, no news, no droning on in the background sucking away our attention. We are free to pay attention to each other and play with each other.

Reduce clutter, get organized This is an on-going challenge. We have been on a mission for the past two years to reduce any and all clutter and unnecessary gadgets and materialistic *stuff* from our lives. Result? Less stuff=less to clean and take care of. Easier ability to organize the important things that we do want to keep. That means more family time to play.

Prioritize value of commitments. We took a hard look at the groups, clubs and meetings we were a part of and started analyzing their value to our family. It was an eye-opener! We began the process of evaluating our commitments differently. Time started showing up right there! This is a constant review that is always being re-evaluated. What are your family values? How do your commitments measure up?

Schedule time for things you want to do. Get your family’s stuff on the calendar FIRST. It is going to be much easier to say  “Oh, I’m so sorry we can’t make it to the 100th birthday party this month, we already have something on the calendar”  when you actually DO have something on the calendar. There isn’t any reason to mention that the calendar says “spend the entire day playing with our family.” Your family is priority number one. AND oh by the way…so are you.

Plan dinner time. Bringing back the family dinner time in the dining room has done more to slow down our lives then all the rest. Planning menus ahead of time, being prepared and having a relaxing, non-rushed dinner with a set table, candles and everyone enjoying conversation has been a wonderful experience. There have been many evenings that we have sat chatting and laughing all the way until bedtime. I strongly recommend the return of candle-lit dining room dinners as often as possible. They are magical!

 

Through the Garden Gate is a simpler time with more focus on getting back to basics, nature, family and good friends. Spending quality time doing the things that are truly important to you, not the things that are on your *should* list or your *I feel guilty so I have to* list. It’s not a life built around keeping up with the latest gadgets and the ‘Jones’ and making sure you are on the right side of the Star-Bellied Sneetches this week. It’s about letting go. Cutting back. Focusing on the Truly Important.

Would you care to join us beyond the Garden Gate? It’s beautiful in here. Come on in…

Being Enough

April 19, 2008

Ah, the weekend. Family time for me, what about you? How will you be spending these next few days? Share and let us know!

I will be going to birthday parties for my nephew and myself. We promise to eat cake for all of you! It has been an entire week of eating and parties around here for birthday week. Any surprise we were inspired by cannoli and pie?

Every birthday gives me a reason to take a moment and reflect on where I am and what I am doing with my life. Am I on track? Am I following the goals and steps that I have laid out to get where I want to be? Am I living an on-purpose life or am I just blowing in the wind?

Sometimes all the striving gets to be a little much. Planning for the future always needs to be balanced with accepting where I am right now, right this minute and being OK with who I am. I remind myself that I am in the place I am at so that I can learn and grow and help others where they are at. We are all where we need to be at the moment to become who we are growing to be. I don’t need to wait to become something more before I get on with the job of living and doing my life’s work.

One of my favorite authors sums this up well, and as I like to share with you some of my favorite authors on the weekends, here is an excerpt from a passage in the book The Sound of Paper, Starting from Scratch, by Julia Cameron.

If you haven’t read any of her books, I highly recommend them to you. The Sound of Paper is one of my favorites.

Have a wonderful weekend friends. Please…take a moment to say hi!

Wendi

Remembering Who We Are

A great deal of the difficulty in making art springs from this conviction that what we are at any given moment is not enough. We want to be better, wiser, more ready to write before we write. We want to be more in the mood, more inspired, more alive before we try to paint. And yet, over the long years of work, it is clear that some of the best writing comes through when we are not feeling struck with light. Some of the finest painting gets done on the days when we just show up at the easel because that is our job. In other words, when we practice self-acceptance of where  we are and who we are instead of striving, always, to be better. We are enough, exactly as we are.

It is very easy to forget our divine origins. It is very easy to see ourselves as the products of our birth families, shaped and colored only by those transactions. We are much larger than that. We are each a soul, unique and distinctive, bringing to bear on life a rich legacy of spiritual gifts if we but open ourselves to the possibility that we are not merely the products of our conditioning. We are spiritual beings with spiritual business to transact here on this earth. We have a destiny to fulfill.

Julia Cameron

The Pie Theory: A Story About Pie.

April 18, 2008

Love is not a piece of pie; Love is all the stars in the sky
Love is not a slice to give, Love is grains of sand to live

Love cannot be handed out, passed around and then run out
Love is endless as the sea, the more I give, it gives back to me.

 

A simple rhyme I made up to teach my children about love when they were very small. Love is not a slice of pie. You can’t cut it up, hand it out and run out. It can’t be done.

As they got older, they started to understand that the Pie Theory is more than just about love. Love is the most profound example of the Pie Theory, but it isn’t by any means its only application.

The Pie Theory is about giving. Genuine, heartfelt giving. Every slice of yummy pie you give out is going to come back to you. Probably double, maybe more. You won’t always see the direct correlation, but trust me, it’s there.

Pie Doesn’t Lie. It can’t be fooled. You can’t pretend to give out pie, when you are only *loaning it out* to get something back. You have to REALLY give it out and never expect to see it again. Just give it away with a smile and take a walk.  Expect nothing. Because loaning pie just gets you your own pie back or worse off, no pie at all.

Here is the bad news. It works the same way with yucky pie too. Better make sure you have some really tasty fresh ingredients that you would enjoy eating in that pie of yours before you hand it out…  if you are handing out Onion and Old Fish Pie-I hope you plan on eating heaps of it yourself.

Pie Doesn’t Lie. It can’t be tricked.

Now the sad thing about pie is that some people are into hanging on to all their pie for themselves. They like their pie. They don’t want to lose their slices. They don’t trust the pie. They think very carefully about to whom and when they are handing out their pie. They may not have held on to the whole thing, they may have shared a slice or two, but they don’t get back much new pie either. So for them, there really isn’t much pie and they learn to hoard and hang on to the pie. Their own pie gets old and stale and tasteless. No new tasty, interesting pie comes to take its place.

In the end, they die with just a little old tasteless pie, no twinkling stars in the sky.

It’s sad..very, very sad.

Try this. Try to give away all the pie. ALL the pie. It can’t be done. It keeps coming back. Soon you will have so much pie you won’t know what to do with it all. You will become FAT with pie. Then you can go on to the next problem. How to store and balance the abundance of pie in your life.

That’s a much nicer problem to have.

Pie anyone?

The Cannoli Tube

April 17, 2008

I’m going to share a little secret that I don’t think I’ve ever shared with anyone.

Anyone at all.

I think my life is like a cannoli tube.

Now if you have never had an Aunt Nonni or a mother who makes home-made cannoli, that statement might not make any sense at all, and in fact, even if you do, it still might not. It’s taken me a long time to understand how I turned out to be a cannoli tube, so I expected I would have to go into a little detail for you as well.

The majority of us do not go through life thinking about being tubes. Not cannoli tubes, not tubes of any kind really. We think about being flesh and blood and bones, all filled up to the brim with life’s challenges and daily events. We have our goals and our projects, our kids and our bills, our needs and our wants. A lot of those wants. That can be a long list.

We jump out of bed in the morning already filled up. Stuffed in fact, with all of life’s filling. Overflowing, just like a cannoli, with goo oozing out both ends. Now, there doesn’t have to be anything wrong with that. In fact, I love cannoli. Absolutely one of the best desserts made. As long as its fresh, with a crisp crust and a sweet, creamy cheese filling that has just been piped in for you to enjoy.

But before you can have any wonderful, fresh, delicious cannoli, you have to have a clean and empty tube ready to go, ready to make the crust, ready for action. A perfectly empty vessel just waiting to be filled with the batter that will be the basis for that spectacular gift to your culinary senses.

No cannoli tube- no cannoli.

If your cannoli tube is stuffed full of old dirty gunk, not cleaned out, not ready to do its job- no spectacular cannoli.

If I want to be like a beautiful tasty cannoli- I have to be a ready and willing cannoli tube.

Now I know this is a crazy, off the wall illustration to make my point. This is why it has been a secret for all 48 years of my life.

But when I am at my very best…my very, very best, it is when I have poured myself out, made myself a clean and empty vessel- a tube if you will- gotten rid of all of the negative gunk I can find, stepped outside of myself, put away my agendas and let the good energy powers  work through me. Let Creativity, God, Serendipity all use me for the needs of the day. When I am humble enough to become nothing more than an empty tube, waiting to be filled, I become more than I ever could be alone.

Its crazy. But its also true.

One of the most delicious desserts in the world comes from an empty tube. The most delicious things that I produce in the world happen when I am an empty tube too.

Amazing Mountains

April 15, 2008

 Ricky Hoyt was born with Cerebral Palsy. At eight months, his parents learned the devastating news that their precious child would be a spastic quadriplegic who would never be able to speak. They were told to put him away in an institution and to forget they had ever had him.

Horrified by those words, Judy and Dick Hoyt vowed to love and protect their son and give him every opportunity to reach his fullest potential. They had never even heard of the words Cerebral Palsy before. They had never known a person in a wheelchair before. In the biography It’s only a Mountain, Ricky’s mother Judy goes from ignorance to becoming a leading advocate for people with disabilities. Her commitment and and unwavering fight to improve understanding and acceptance for both her son and the disabled community as a whole opened the door of opportunity that has allowed Ricky to do so much more than anyone ever expected including living in his own apartment and graduating from Boston University in 1993 with a degree in Special Education.

Ricky Hoyt is also an athlete. With his 65 year old father Dick Hoyt, the two of them form  Team Hoyt, a father and son team that have competed in a combination of 958 marathons and Ironman triathlons, which consist of 26.2 miles of running,112 miles of biking and 2.4 miles of swimming. They have climbed mountains together and once ran 3,735 miles across America.

I  had the honor of meeting these amazing men when they gave a presentation during a conference I had attended. The name of their presentation was simply:

I CAN

The Hoyt family was given a mountain to climb, one that seemed impossible to reach. Instead of saying “I can’t” they faced that challenge with an “I can” attitude and turned that mountain into a miracle.

Ricky’s first race began because he wanted to help raise money for another boy who had been injured in a car accident and had lost the use of his legs. The local town had organized a race to raise money for his family to pay medical bills. Ricky wanted to participate but knew he couldn’t run alone. He needed someone to push his wheelchair for him. Dick said yes without a second thought, even though at the time, he was in no shape to run the five miles that they were signed up for.

When they finished the race, every inch of Dick’s body was screaming out in pain. Yet he recalls that Ricky had the biggest smile on his face that anyone had ever seen. Later that evening, Ricky typed the following note in his computer. “Dad, when I am running, it feels like I’m not even handicapped.”

I remember when Dick Hoyt shared that story with us, the love  poured through him when he spoke. His voice caught and he had to swallow hard when he said, “I found a way that I could give my son the freedom and athletic experience that he has always admired in others. I could give Rick the joy of a person that has been freed from the bondage of a disability.”

And so Dick Hoyt began to run. He began to train. They found a special wheelchair that Ricky could be pushed in while Dick ran with him. They discovered a way to put a seat-pod in the front of Dick’s bike so that Ricky could ride on the front of the bike. Dick learned how to swim-and how to pull Ricky in a boat while he swam- so that they could compete in Ironman Triathlons. The Hoyt Team was born.

The Hoyt Team has inspired countless of handicapped and non-handicapped people all over the world with their love of each other and with their drive and determination to be the very best they can be. The Hoyt Family’s CAN Attitude makes one believe that anything is possible.

I got to spend a few minutes talking with Ricky and Dick that weekend. What impressed me more than anything was the close bond between them. Although Ricky can’t say a single word, his eyes speak volumes. The love and laughter that sparks back and forth between the two of them while they banter with nods and gestures put a lump in my throat. This was a father loving his son the way his son needed to be loved in an amazing way. Their gift of love to each other was a beautiful thing to watch.

Dick’s act of love for Ricky is a profound example of giving someone what they need. In return they have both been blessed with so much more. It inspires me to think about my life and the ways that I can show my love to the important people in my life. I may not have to carry them through marathons or triathlons, but am I willing to sacrifice and make the effort to show how much I care? Do I take the time to focus on what I can give, and how I can make a difference?

Dick Hoyt reminds me that love is a verb.  A word of action. A word of doing unto others. A word of caring. A word of CAN.

What CAN we do today to let our loved ones know how much we love them?

 * Be sure to check out the inspiring video of Dick and Ricky in the CAN link above*

The Weekend Wrap Up

April 12, 2008

Ah, the weekend already? This week blew by fast, I could barely keep up. It was a busy week in blogsville. In summary, here is where we are:

Getting To Know You:

Welcome to all of the new visitors to the site this week, and to the rest of you as well. I am so happy to have everyone here. The increased participation in the comments section is a lot of fun for me and I cherish every single one! Thank you so much! I hope everyone feels comfortable chatting amongst yourselves as well. Building a community here is a very important part of what I want to do.

Last weekend’s Q & A had a fair amount of turn out for the answers to my questions. But there is plenty of room for more. If you want to participate, check out the post at Getting to Know You and add in your comments. Don’t forget, it’s also your chance to add any suggestions for post ideas or questions that you may have for me. Jump right in! Lurkers, please say take a second to say hi, you will make my day!

We have just finished our one month anniversary in the Blogging world. (April 8) For better or worse, cause I really don’t know what all these numbers mean, we have had 1567 hits in the month that we have been here and over 50 of you have become subscribers in the two weeks since I got that little button to work. As I said, without any Benchmark data, I have nothing to compare those numbers to, but I want you to know that I am grateful for every single one. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your support.

Blogsville Round-up

There have been a few extra-fun things that have been happening around Blogsville this week.

Melissa Donovan is doing a poetry workshop for the month of April that is fun to participate in. You can check that out at Writing Forward. If you like it, tell her I said hi.

If you are a newbie Blogger and are looking for some tips on how to succeed without getting burnt to a crisp, go pull up a chair over at Monika’s shop, The Writer’s Manifesto. Class will be starting soon, so you haven’t missed anything yet.

Daz Cox has painted some really amazing art over at his house. Why not go on over for a vist. If you haven’t been there yet, you won’t be disappointed.

Congratulations to a brand new blogger for making it through her first full week in the Blogging world. If you have a minute, go on over and say hi to Jenny at Random Ramblings.

 There have been a lot of other fun commentaries and great posts going on this week. Check out the blog roll that I finally got up (go me!) for some of my favorite spots! If you like thought-provoking posts that lead to really long discussions that never end, Men with Pens and Six Weeks are the places you will want to be. I’m not kidding, some of those discussions seem like they go on for six weeks! ( Now we know the REAL reason for Brett’s new name change.)

Finally, if its a combination of beauty, thoughtful contemplation and inspiration that you are looking for, go where Life’s Little Inspirations goes to get inspired over at Lives Less Ordinary.

Oh by the way, If you know of anyone that would enjoy any of these folks up above or what we are doing here at Life’s Little Inspirations, please pass these links around. Referrals are the highest compliment you can give. Thanks. Have a great weekend.

Wendi

Poetry Time

As I mentioned before, on the weekends, I would like to share some of my favorite inspiring poetry with you. This next week will be my birthday so it is fitting that I share a poem that I was given as a gift on a birthday card for my 30th birthday. ( For the answer to how long ago that was, you will have to have been paying attention earlier in a different post.) When I read the poem, I cut it out and put it in a frame. I have kept it on my desk framed ever since. Rarely does a birthday card make that big of a splash, but this one has meant a lot to me. Oh, and if you go to Melissa’s poetry class, I shared this in the comments section yesterday too.

Life

Let me but live my life from year to year, With forward face and unreluctant soul; Not hurrying to, nor turning from the goal; Not mourning for the things that disappear In the dim past, nor holding back in fear From what the future veils; but with a whole And happy heart, that pays its toll To Youth and Age, and travels on with cheer. So let the way wind up the hill or down, O’er rough or smooth, the journey will be joy: Still seeking what I sought when but a boy, New friendship, high adventure, and a crown, My heart will keep the courage of the quest, And hope the road’s last turn will be the best. -Henry Van Dyke

 

 

 

Before the Play is Done

April 10, 2008

Epigram

MY soul, sit thou a patient looker-on;
Judge not the play before the play is done:
Her plot hath many changes; every day
Speaks a new day; the last act crowns the play.

Frances Quarles

 

From the first moment that I met Margaret, I was blown away. It was my first day of watercolor class in college and I was anxious, frightened and fidgeting with all of my shiny new supplies while waiting for students and the teacher to arrive. One glance around the room had already told me that I was in over my head, that there was much more talent surrounding me than I had bargained for. The class was a combination class. Newbies like me jumped in at the beginning and tried to keep up as more accomplished artists painted around them. The theory was that by observing others, there would be more growth. Yeah right, I was going to look like a preschooler with finger-paint.

I began re-packing my things. With five minutes to spare, I figured I could withdraw from the class, no harm done and go sign up at the local park district, where I belonged, before anyone had even realized I was in the room.

Then she burst in.

She was tall, and rim-rod straight, with perfect posture that a soldier would pay good money for. She pulled behind her a cart with three large cases filled, presumably, with art supplies and canvases. “Good MORNING everybody,” she boomed in a huge strong voice. “IT is a BeaUTiful day.” she marched over to a table and bustling about in a flurry of energy, began unpacking everything from the cases.

I sat.

I tried to keep my mouth from hanging open.

Margaret’s hair was silver-gray, piled on to the very top of her head, wound in a long braided bun. Her face wore the road map of many years and many troubles, with lines upon lines intersecting with each other. My brain struggled to keep up with the information it was receiving. The hair, the wrinkles, the thin blue skin with whispers of veins running through it, all spoke of a woman at the end of her life. She had to be in her nineties. But the voice, the posture, the energy, the vibrancy which radiated out of her being screamed No way. This is youth, not age, she can’t be as old as she looks.

I was wrong. She was 93 years old.

The story of Margaret unfolded bit by bit that semester. I learned more about the illusion of age then I did about how to be a great painter in those 16 weeks. And I was grateful for the lesson.  Margaret was an amazing artist. What she could do with a little brush and pots of paint was astounding. Her paintings were hanging in galleries and selling for $4000.00 each for an original. She came to paint in class with us just for the fun of being around people. She had never even picked up a paintbrush until her late 70’s after her beloved husband had passed away. Then with her children grown and no one at home, she decided to go to college and get a degree. A random art class had led to painting and she never stopped.

I asked her what her secret to long life was.

“Never stop learning” she said. “Keep trying something new. You have to make mistakes and figure things out. Oh, and be stubborn. I’m very stubborn. Oh..and don’t forget to walk. I walk every day.” Margaret was big on walking. Every day, she hauled in twice as much stuff as the rest of us. She parked at the far end of the parking lot and walked briskly to the room. She had two big dogs at home that she claimed to walk every day after her morning meditations.

If you asked her if she wanted help with something, you could expect to get glared at. She may have been a sweet, old lady, but she was unwaveringly independent. She didn’t believe in being beholden to anyone, for anything. She was proud, strong and fiercely young at heart.

I lost contact with Margaret after that semester. I finished the class and moved on with my life. Margaret stayed in school for another 4 years, painting in that same room and making a decent living from selling her art. I was saddened to open the local newspaper one morning to see the headline begin with ”Oldest College Student has Died…” with a picture of Margaret and one of my personal favorite paintings on the front page.  She had still been in school at 97 years old.

Next week, I will turn 48. As I begin the march up the “Over the Hill”, and the second act of my life’s “play,” I am starting to get very excited. The teasing about fifty looming in the near future has begun, but it means nothing to me. When I think of Margaret, I feel like a baby bird barely sprouting wings. There is a very long list written down on my “things I want to do while I’m still breathing” list and I’m adding new ones all the time. Before the final curtian comes down in my final act, there is much I want to do, much I want to see.

I feel like a kid at the Baskin and Robbins Ice cream store and I want to try all 31 flavors.  I don’t want to miss anything. I want to know that I have tasted every drop, inhaled every fragrance, and touched every soft and wooly item. Lord, let me experience all that Life has to offer and not miss it in my daily round. Don’t let me wander through life unaware.

Never Stop Learning… Margaret’s secret to a long life. Good advice, and I haven’t forgotten it. All the world is a beautiful school with classrooms in every corner, just waiting to teach anything we are willing to learn, as long as we are willing to listen, down to the last day. We can start over at any time, re-write our scripts, begin a new scene, maybe even come up with a surprise ending.

It’s never too late if you’re breathing. What do you want to know? What do you want to do?  How are you going to get there?

In the Silence are the Answers…

April 9, 2008

 

I think I was twelve the first time someone turned to me with hands on their hips, frustrated, ready to rip out their hair and shouted, “Wendi! You know what your problem is??? YOU THINK TOO MUCH!!!”

Oh, OK, then…I’ll just…stop…???

But what if…????

The world is an amazing place. Under every leaf and rock is a whole new world just waiting to be explored and questioned. Taken apart, piece by piece, examined, put back together again with all the pieces topsy-turvy and somewhere new. Creativity is the child of the questions Why and How.  The answer to the why-nots, and the-oh, yes I can’s.

Questions, Questions, Questions. Yes, I can be the Queen of questions. I started asking them at three and never shut up. So I am told. Guilty as charged. I honestly believe that if I have a ’secret to my success,’ it is the asking of questions and looking for answers.

After all, I am a high school drop out. Twice. But that didn’t mean I had to stay there. I tried going back once and circumstances knocked me off my feet again. So… off to get the GED and on to College. There is always a way around to go get the answers if you really want them. Then there are books. Amazing, wonderful books. If you can read, there is virtually nothing standing in between you and anything you want to know.

And now we have the Godzilla of information…the INTERNET. Oh…we live in a privileged time of answers. What do you want to know? Within moments, the answers can be at your fingertips. Technology, Shakespeare, how to make your first million. Right there…Google can set you free…Ask and you shall receive…glory be…

But there are some answers that can’t come to you with the click of a button. Google can’t answer the nagging little questions bottled up in your spirit. It won’t tell you why you ate that stinking rotten doughnut not ten lousy minutes after you PROMISED yourself you were really going to diet this time FOR REAL. It can try, but it doesn’t know you. It won’t write your next article or tell you why you are procrastinating today. It won’t let you in on why you feel restless or angry and don’t even know why OR why you changed your outfit seven times and swear you gained ten pounds, even when the scale assures you it is only one.

What’s the matter? Why the sudden writer’s block?  The lack of creativity? Why aren’t things working the way you planned them on the goal list? Maybe you haven’t even come up with one? Why not? What are you afraid of? Why the anxiety, the sense of self-defeat? Why the little voice in your ear telling you it’s not enough, that you aren’t enough? Why are the things you say not adding up to the things you do?

There are answers to those questions too. Not on the Internet. Not at school. Not in all the self-help books. Not even here. They are in you. Within you are the answers you seek-if you will take the time to be quiet and listen.

Here are a few of the methods that I use to do this:

Prayer/meditation

Find yourself a very quiet place, get comfortable and make sure that you will not be disturbed. Now I am not going to begin to tell anyone how to pray in any specific religious sense here so please interpret my use of the word to mean whatever spiritual power works for you. What I find to be very powerful is to just have an honest unloading of what is going on, along with the problems and questions that need solutions. I actually do this out loud. If that is too uninhibited for you, try it in your mind. Then be silent. Do your best to calm and relax your mind to have no thoughts at all. I find focusing on a candle helps a lot. With practice, it is amazing how much creativity, answers and solutions come through the silence. It might be a good idea to have a pad of paper close by so you can jot down any great brainstorms as the free flow of ideas loosens up.

Journaling/ reading

The written word has a powerful ability to communicate with us and send us messages we hadn’t seen before, even if we have read the same passage over and over again. Anyone who is a frequent Bible or inspirational book reader can speak of specific quotes that have jumped off of pages and were “just what they needed to hear” at the right time. This can be enhanced by combining it with journaling out specific issues and questions, therefore solidifying certain topics firmly in the mind’s focus. Then picking up random reading, the mind seems to focus on just what it needs to bring you the answer that you were looking for. It may seem magical, but it is a way of communicating with your subconscious, (or God or higher power if you like) which has the answers that you need.

Another journaling tool is to just start free-form writing down everything that enters your head, letting creativity flow, and brainstorming solutions. In the privacy of not having to worry about being wrong, your creativity is freed to open up and explore new ideas and solutions. Promise yourself that you will burn or shred the paper so that you are freed from the constraints of worrying about what you write if that is an issue for you.

Nature/exercise

The solitude of running, walking, boating, camping or any way of communing alone with nature is a wonderful way to seek the answers that you need. While it is true that I have heard of athletes who can get “in the zone” at health clubs enough to feel that sense of meditation, I think it is a rare person who has that kind of focus. Out in nature, one can think and soak up the nature, the beauty and the silence and the world and its problems almost naturally take on a different perspective on its own. It is a wonderful way to use the methods of exploring the asking of questions and then waiting in silence for the solutions. The only drawback that I personally have had with this method is when I have had such great ideas, I have become frustrated due to not being able to run and write at the same time and  by the time I get back, I have lost some of them. When I was training for my first marathon, I carried a little portable recorder for a few of the long runs to record ideas that came to me.

Drawing/painting

Art. Although I also paint landscapes and *things*, when I am in the listening mode, I am more apt to put on some very quiet meditative music and doodle. With pencils or paint, I just let whatever is *in*, come out. I am often very surprised to see what lands there. The intent is to have no pre-conceived idea or plan, just let *it* out. The result of a session like this is usually like an awakening, a feeling of an AHA, then peace.

I highly recommend messy art. It is good for the soul.

I would love to hear how other people listen for their “Inside Voice Answers.”  We all have them, sometimes it’s a matter of how often we are checking in.  How often do you check in? How do you get there? I would love to know. Please give me your thoughts and your methods!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Courage to Start

April 7, 2008

“The Miracle isn’t that I Finished. The Miracle is that I had the Courage to Start”

John “The Penguin” Bingham

How did an overweight, 43 year old couch potato who smoked and drank and had a clumsy gait like a penguin end up completing 40 marathons, hundreds of 5K and 10K runs, become the author of several best selling books and inspire hundreds of thousands of men and women to run for fun, fitness and to feel better about themselves?

He started.

He woke up one day, put on a pair of sneakers, ran down to the end of his driveway, and ran back. The next day he did it again. The next time a little further. Next thing he knew, he was running three days a week. Soon after that, he became a runner.

The amazing part of John “The Penguin” Bingham isn’t that he discovered a latent talent for running that had gone unnoticed, or that he was more special than you or I. The amazing part about John is that he is one of the few who actually woke up one day, looked at his life, deemed it unworthy and started over. He gave himself a do-over.

Somewhere along the way, it is common for folks to imagine that their lives are a train going down a very long continuous track. They peer down that track, seeing no end in sight for miles and miles, years and years and think, “well, that’s my train, that’s my track, can’t change it, it’s the track I’m stuck with.”

They may even be able to look back and tell you, right where the train took the switch and changed directions, veering off the course they had dreamed about. But never-the-less- it’s too late now. Their train is on a one way path to wherever…

John Bingham was able to peer down that track and see what lied ahead. It wasn’t going to be pretty. At 43 years of age, he was overweight, washed up, with no dreams or inspiration, nothing to look forward to and a lifetime of sedentary, passive existence on the sidelines of life.

He pulled the switch and turned his train around.

He had the courage to just start, just jump right in to something new. A new way of living, a new plan, a new mindset, new habits and ultimately a new life that would take him to places and adventures and success that he couldn’t have even imagined when he first stood outside his garage and laced up those sneakers. He had no idea where he was going or even if he would be able to run more than a few steps. All he knew was that the certainty of the past, continuing into his future was a worse bet then trying something new.

The best keys to success state that to succeed you need to have a vision, a plan and the steps to make it happen. Know where you are going and how you are going to get there. In theory, I agree.

However, there are times, and often it is somewhere between a rock and a bottom, where just about anywhere is better then where you are about to end up. Drastic times call for drastic measures and at times like that, there isn’t time to wait for the Muse of Vision to shine on your path.

In those times, it’s time to take a step, one step, in the right direction. Just a run to the end of the driveway if that is all you can do. Tomorrow, you can go a little further. Just jump in and get started. Soon you you will be able to look back and see how far you have come, but for now, just one step.

Everyone has the power to improve their lives. Though faith, through community, through love, through hard work, through self-discipline, through soul-searching and a willingness to serve others, we can all become better people, we can all become a better community. It can happen one step at a time. We are not really trains on tracks. That is only an illusion.

It takes courage. Courage to take the first step. Courage to take the next and the one after that, one baby step at a time. Soon, if it wasn’t there to begin with, the vision will come, the plan will evolve and then the runner will be able to run. All the way to the finish line.

It takes courage to cross the finish lines of life… It takes even more courage to believe you can start running at all.

Are there places you could change by just starting? Why not just jump right on in? What are you waiting for?

If not Now then When?

 

Getting To Know You…

April 5, 2008

“Getting to know you,
getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
getting to hope you like me.

Haven’t you noticed,
suddenly I’m bright and breezy?”
Because of all the wonderful and new things
I’m learning about you day by day…

 Lyrics: Getting To Know You, King & I

Happy Weekend everyone!

SURVEY TIME!!!!! Please take a few minutes to help make this a better site by answering five questions!

Last week, Melissa Donovan suggested that we do a question and answer post so that our faithful readers and new readers can ask questions and also suggest topics for future posts. I love the idea. 

My plan for the blog is that during the week here L.L.I. I will post new and original posts of an inspirational nature and during the weekend I will do more free form posts of my favorite poetry, quotes, guest blogs (perhaps) or share my thoughts and ideas, or just have updates and conversations. So it seems like the perfect time and place for a question and answer post. Since we are as new as a baby’s bottom, we reserve the right to grow and shapeshift a little as readers share brilliant and wonderful ideas like Melissa did. Thanks Melissa!

So, I have some questions I would like to ask, and I would like your answers, so please respond. Then ask, ask, ask away any questions you have for me, and make any and as many suggestions you have for improving this blog. I have a very thick skin and you aren’t going to hurt my feelings or scare me away. I am very committed to keeping this going, and would really appreciate the feedback and support.

I am really struggling with the technical side of blogging as some of my blogging friends know. It has taken me three weeks to get my blogroll up there and I just got it there last night. Now I have to find the time to add in my favorite sites! Coming soon! But the tech side is coming, inch by inch… and I will prevail, I’m nothing if I’m not stubborn!

Ok, on to the questions!

1) Comments: There are a lot of people visiting this site according to the stats, and the majority of you are lurking. Why? What do I need to do to make you feel more like commenting? I’ll take responsibility for it, but I would like to know what to change to make this a more interactive site where you all want to hang out and chat with each other.

2) What topics would you like to see covered here? Please give me any and all suggestions you have for improving L.L.I Are you more interested in hearing about inspiring people? Problem solving? How-to’s? Are you tired of lists? Want more lists? Please share.

3) What do you feel makes L.L.I stand out as being different or unique from other sites you visit. Does it have a character or a “branding” that is different that you could put in words?

4) What has been your favorite post so far and why?

5) What do like best about L.L.I. and what keeps you coming back as a repeat reader?

 

Thank you for taking the time to read and answer these questions. I promise that I will take the time to answer your questions too. In addition, to answering them in the comment section this time, I am going to compile them into next weekend’s post, so come back for part two!

Finally, thank you everyone for being here. I am having the time of my life at Life’s Little Inspirations. I may be the one being inspired the most by everyone’s kindness, willingness to share, and support. I have met wonderful people in the past month who already feel like life-long friends and who have helped this project along so much. Saying thanks to everyone just doesn’t seem to be enough…but…

thanks gang, I’m glad we’re all in this together.

Stop and Smell the Goodness

April 3, 2008

“…So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else…”

Colossians 3:12-14

Today Bloggers are participating in Gary Vayerchuk’s call for posts on good people. He has proclaimed April 4th to be Good People day.  Good for Gary for making a positive difference in today! Besides, that is what we are all about every single day here. The thoughts, ideas, attitudes and the people that inspire us to make a difference. So Good People Day is a perfect fit for Life’s Little Inspirations. We like good people here every day.

But wait….what makes somebody good? It’s one thing to be inspired. We can be inspired by someone’s drive, their passion, their intelligence, their creativity, their self-discipline, but in truth, they can have all of these, and still be ruthless, self-absorbed, ignorant of others. Not at all good.

Conversely, a person can be good and self-less and have little in the way of those qualities just mentioned. They can live their lives as unsung heroes, or they can be very inspiring. Occasionally they can be both. Perhaps, it isn’t until time has passed and you have had the maturity to realize where your important lessons have come from, that you realize that beauty and goodness were right under your nose and you hadn’t taken the time to notice.

Good people are under our noses every day. Like colorful flowers, they adorn our day with beauty and love. They smile at us and rarely ask for anything in return. They brighten our world and bring the hope of a better place. They might be sharing little moments as they pass us by. they might be the day-to-day people in our world that we know are good, but just don’t always think about.

Because we are too absorbed in our own busyness.

Today is Good People Day. Who are they? Where are they? Stop and smell the flowers of goodness throughout your day today. Take a deep breath, look around. What have you been missing? Notice them. Smile at them.

Say thank you.

Be one of the flowers yourself. Bloom….Be colorful, cheery, grateful. Make a difference, bring a smile to someone’s day.

Goodness is all around us. So is evil. The flowers and weeds of life. Can you imagine if we all walked through the world only looking at the weeds and ignoring the flowers? What an ugly garden we would think we had. How sad it would be to have missed all the beauty.

We have a lot of media and people pushing weeds at us all the time these days. Our busy lives don’t give us much time to sit on the garden benches and reflect on the flowers we encounter.

But for today, make it a point. Stop and look. Take time to smell the goodness. Take a deep, deep breath.

Maybe we can learn to see a “Good People World” instead of just one day.

The Magical Word

April 1, 2008

Man Builds No Structure Which Outlives a Book

Eugene Ware

The Written word. The stunning, awesome power of the written word. All of our history, all of our collective ideas and creativity, all of our stories and our folklore are recorded and kept alive within the magic of the written word.

You and I are a part of that magic. Those of us, who dare, to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, those of us, who open our minds day after day to see what lies within, and doing so, summon the courage to transcribe it for the scrutiny of others; we, by the very action of writing, create magic.

As a very small child, walking into libraries, I was acutely aware of the magical presence that books held. I have had a love affair with books since I can remember. There was a reverence in my heart that most people reserved for the House of God, but to me, I was quite sure, God lived in Libraries. I would walk up and down every isle, running my little fingers slowly on the backing of all of the adult books, inhaling the fragrance of leather and old books, long past their prime, mingled with the exciting freshness of the new arrivals waiting to be opened.

I could be found curled up in little corners, stacks of books piled high, pouring through classics, poetry, new works of fiction, absorbing the words, lost in new worlds.

Reading was my life. I was a shy, withdrawn girl, with imagination for a best friend. We moved every few years and books were friends you could pack in a box and take with you.

It wasn’t long before reading expanded into writing as well. I discovered that I had the power to not only read about new worlds, but to create my own and bring them to life on paper. I could make new people, find new friends, have adventures. I had the power to create any world I wanted to live in.I was still a child, yet I understood a lesson that would stay with me all of my life.

 There is amazing power in the written word.

It has the power to comfort me and listen when I flee to the privacy of my journal and tell it secrets that I could share with no human being. Sometimes secrets that I haven’t even yet figured out for myself.

It has the power to counsel me, as I brainstorm a difficult situation, working out solutions and ideas with word associations and free-flowing thoughts. The combination of my subconscious and the written word can form a bond that can answer many difficult questions.

It has the power to entertain me. To whisk me away to tropical places in the middle off frozen winters. To relieve my stress with a new adventure, to make me laugh, to make me cry, to make me feel alive again when the world had become dull.

It has the power to educate me. Between libraries, bookstores and the Internet, the entire world’s knowledge awaits me if I will take to time to read it. I have an infinite ability to grow and expand my world, on a whim, for work or just to keep my brain young.

It has the power to share my thoughts with others and touch their lives.  Share my intimate, authentic truth with candor and heart. I can send a note of sympathy,  share a moment of gratitude, or remind a dear one how much they are loved. In this impersonal age, a written note can sometimes be the only true personal moment in someone’s day. With words, we can make a difference.

It has the power to meet new friends.  The written word sent out to others, especially in our Internet age, brings people together with like-minded thoughts and interests who may never have met each other before. It builds connections and bonds that create communities. With communities, change can happen. With change, anything is possible.

It has the power to evoke the deepest emotions. It is not a magic power to be taken lightly. Written words sent out can never be taken back. Words written in love, words written in hate have made marriages, ruined friendships, started wars. A writer must understand the weapon of the pen in their hand.

It has the power to change the world. I have often wondered if the writers of the Constitution had any idea what the ramifications of their pens truly would be. Do they look down upon us now and wish they had changed their words just slightly, were perhaps a little more clear, wrote a few more paragraphs? Are they happy with their document? Once out there, it has set the course of not just one nation, but all others affected by it.

There are debates and more debates about who is the most qualified to call themselves a writer.

You are a writer only if you are published…

Or…only if you are paid. Or if you cross the threshold of making “this” much. Or only if you are paid by this type of person or in this format, or this genre or if “that” audience deems you worthy.

In my mind, these are Star-Bellied Sneetch arguments.

A writer is a writer if they write. There is no test to pass that allows you the privilege of picking up a pen and putting your hopes, dreams, thoughts, ideas and imagination on paper. The only way to be a better writer is to write. Write and write often, fail and keep writing and improve. Do it some more and do it from your heart. Don’t ever let anyone tell you not to write.

One of the magical things about words is that they belong to all of us.

Planning for the Fog

April 1, 2008

Stand Up to Your Obstacles and Do Something About Them, You Will Find that They Haven’t Half the Strength You Thought They Have.

Norman Vincent Peale

Obstacles.

Just when you think you were getting somewhere…along comes some blip on the screen, some change in the plan, some unforeseen disaster that veers you off the course.

“Oh well…better luck next time…”

Many Monday morning diets have been blown a Tuesday goodbye kiss due to obstacles in the road. Many other well intended plans, started with enthusiasm and desire, lay dead in the path of these dreaded roadblocks.

What’s a person to do? You can’t plan for obstacles. Right? They just happen… They’re a random event. Luck of the draw….It’s not like it’s our fault or anything.

“Oh well…better luck next time…”

I’ll let you in on a secret that I have in my little bag of life’s lessons. You won’t have better luck next time. There is another obstacle coming. The only thing that is going to make a difference next time is how prepared you are to deal with it.

The remarkable Florence Chadwick had already made a place for herself in history by being the first woman to swim the English Channel, when she made her decision to swim from Catalina Island to the California coast. This was a woman of proven persistence, goal-setting ability and driven excellence. There was every reason to believe in her ability to meet her next challenge.

On the 4th of July in 1952, as millions watched at home on national television and with family and crew by her side, Florence began her swim. The water was icy cold.  Sharks hovered around her, being kept at bay by rifle shots fired from the crew supporting her. A deep, murky fog enveloped the water, rendering Florence unable to see anything in front of her.

Cheers and cries of support rang out from her family and the crew in the boats above, urging her to carry on, but all Florence could focus on was the fog that blinded her path. Defeated, she asked to be taken out of the water. It was the first time she had ever given in. The first time she had ever quit. 

Later, from the comfort of the boat, Florence was dismayed to learn that she had given up only 1/2 mile from the shore of victory. When interviewed by a reporter, she told him that it wasn’t fatigue or cold water that had stopped her, but simply that she had lost sight of the vision in her mind, and had been blinded by the fog.

A short two months later, Florence Chadwick returned to try again. She was not lucky enough to have clear skies and visibility. The same obstacle of blinding fog also returned to challenge her once more. This time, Florence was prepared. She had rehearsed over and over in her mind what the end result would look like. She imagined the fog and how she would swim through it and keep her mind firmly focused on the goal.  As she swam, she was able to remind herself that the fog did not change the end result; the shoreline was there whether she could see it or not. She just had to remain faithful to continue swimming and she would reach it.

This time Florence did reach the shore. Despite the fog, she swam there in a straight path and broke the all time speed record set before her by the men by two full hours!

Obstacles come. Always. Wearing one disguise or another, they step in our path to block the goal that we had set before us. Without a clear and carefully defined vision, it is hard to defeat them. Like a child’s monster in the closet, they appear to be overwhelming, frightening  and larger than life.

More often than not, they don’t really exist. With rehearsed planning and focused vision, they can be reduced to a minor inconvenience, a lesson to be learned or sometimes even an opportunity that turns out to help us on our way.

The largest obstacle that we truly face is our own defeated attitudes.

When she was in kindergarten, my sister wrote a story.

I went into a cave and there was a bear! I tried to get out of the window but there wasn’t any. I tried to get out the door but the bear was blocking it. So, I sat down.

the end

The teacher wrote with her red pen, “And then what???”

This story was one of my first collections to be placed in the life’s lesson bag. And then what? What comes Next? How many times do we see an obstacle and then just sit down?

When you start to approach life from the angle that an obstacle is coming, so plan ahead…it isn’t the same as negative thinking. It’s being prepared. It’s making sure you have what you need in your suitcase to complete your journey. Thinking through in your mind, what types of things and experiences could possibly occur along the way and what you might need to do to stay focused and on plan.

It’s the constructive use of “What if?” instead of using it to worry and defeat us before we start.

It looks like this:

Finish these sentences for your goals and plans:

1. The end result of my goal looks like…..

2. The steps I need to take are…..

3. Possible obstacles that could stop me from reaching my goals are…

4. My plan for diffusing those obstacles is…..

5. The language I will use and the way it will look when I overcome the obstacles is…

Then, the more time you spend visualizing and seeing yourself succeeding in your mind, and overcoming those obstacles, actually rehearsing in your mind the language you would use, and actions that you would take to overcome those obstacles, the smaller and smaller those obstacles will be when they arrive. Your subconscious will already be engaged and know what to do.

Life happens. You won’t be able to predict and plan for everything. Some things are just learning experiences. Even an accomplished swimmer like Florence hadn’t planned for the fog the first time through. But she didn’t let it keep her out of the game either. She was back within a few months, mentally stronger, armed with knowledge and a better plan.

She won. So can you.

Obstacles are coming, are you planning ahead?

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