I was young and dumb.
I am older and wiser now. Much older. In order to have a Golden anniversary, We’ll have to stay married AND alive until I’m 97. I’m hoping…but I’m not holding my breath.
Instead, I celebrate each day, each month, and now, each year as if the magic that we are still together is absolutely incredible. Because I’ve learned that it is. We have a great relationship. Not great in the sense that it is all fairy tales and roses. More great in the sense that we know that it is work and can’t be taken for granted. That there are a variety of things that go into making a marriage work and they all have to be thrown into the Stew-pot and then must be watched carefully and stirred often…
Or things are gonna get burned.
There are a lot of different ingredients that make up a good relationship. Everyone has their different opinions on what that is. In our case, We have a have a partnership where we do projects together in the community. We work well together. That’s how we met. He is my best friend. I trust him with promises and hopes and dreams. I value his integrity. He’s still my boyfriend that I love to go on dates with, laugh with and talk to until the wee hours of the night. We play well together and have a lot of mutual hobbies in common… We parent our children together well. And when things slip…we settle in for a good long chat until all the spices and ingredients are blending together again into a balanced and yet flavorful stew.
I’ve been looking at all of our wedding pictures today. Remembering all of the fun and all of the work that went into making that one day so very special. One year ago today we had a great, great day. Beautiful weather, our dearest friends, dancing until wee hours of the night, great food and memories that will last a lifetime. A great start to a great year. A great year that is still…just a beginning…to just another day…that we will have to keep on stirring the pot just like the day before.
Because every single day matters. Wedding days are wonderful. Anniversary days are special. But the days that mean the most are the ones that are snuggled in between. The ones that are taken for granted as just one day more. The pot stirring days of just keeping it all going, one day at a time.
In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.
The thing that I feel most grateful about this first year was that it wasn’t taken for granted. We didn’t settle. We stirred, we tasted, we added new ingredients, stirred some more and kept on tasting all the time to be sure we like what we have. We kept that pot simmering and never let it burn.
There are a lot of pots in our lives that need to be taken care of and stirred. Not just the marriage pot. That happens to be the one on my mind today as we celebrate our special day. But you have your own. I refer to them as frog pots. If you don’t pay attention to them the water gets cold and you get nothing. And as Tony Robbins points out it is the daily persistent focused attention that is going to make the difference between success or stagnation.
What’s in your pot these days? What are you doing with them?
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