I was young and dumb.
I am older and wiser now. Much older. In order to have a Golden anniversary, We’ll have to stay married AND alive until I’m 97. I’m hoping…but I’m not holding my breath.
Instead, I celebrate each day, each month, and now, each year as if the magic that we are still together is absolutely incredible. Because I’ve learned that it is. We have a great relationship. Not great in the sense that it is all fairy tales and roses. More great in the sense that we know that it is work and can’t be taken for granted. That there are a variety of things that go into making a marriage work and they all have to be thrown into the Stew-pot and then must be watched carefully and stirred often…
Or things are gonna get burned.
There are a lot of different ingredients that make up a good relationship. Everyone has their different opinions on what that is. In our case, We have a have a partnership where we do projects together in the community. We work well together. That’s how we met. He is my best friend. I trust him with promises and hopes and dreams. I value his integrity. He’s still my boyfriend that I love to go on dates with, laugh with and talk to until the wee hours of the night. We play well together and have a lot of mutual hobbies in common… We parent our children together well. And when things slip…we settle in for a good long chat until all the spices and ingredients are blending together again into a balanced and yet flavorful stew.
I’ve been looking at all of our wedding pictures today. Remembering all of the fun and all of the work that went into making that one day so very special. One year ago today we had a great, great day. Beautiful weather, our dearest friends, dancing until wee hours of the night, great food and memories that will last a lifetime. A great start to a great year. A great year that is still…just a beginning…to just another day…that we will have to keep on stirring the pot just like the day before.
Because every single day matters. Wedding days are wonderful. Anniversary days are special. But the days that mean the most are the ones that are snuggled in between. The ones that are taken for granted as just one day more. The pot stirring days of just keeping it all going, one day at a time.
In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.
The thing that I feel most grateful about this first year was that it wasn’t taken for granted. We didn’t settle. We stirred, we tasted, we added new ingredients, stirred some more and kept on tasting all the time to be sure we like what we have. We kept that pot simmering and never let it burn.
There are a lot of pots in our lives that need to be taken care of and stirred. Not just the marriage pot. That happens to be the one on my mind today as we celebrate our special day. But you have your own. I refer to them as frog pots. If you don’t pay attention to them the water gets cold and you get nothing. And as Tony Robbins points out it is the daily persistent focused attention that is going to make the difference between success or stagnation.
What’s in your pot these days? What are you doing with them?
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Happy Anniversary! I can’t believe it’s been a year already! Time is flying by! Keep stirring that pot, for what you two have created is magical indeed! It’s not every day that something like what you have comes along and it’s even rarer still that it can stand the test of time. I have faith that you both will be around to celebrate that golden anniversary!
Jenny’s last blog post..Say What You Need To
Hard to believe isn’t it! Time flies when you are having fun.
Put it this way…if we’re breathing…we’ll be celebrating! with all of our friends around us!
Happy Anniversary, Wendi!
I know how you feel. I too was married before, and I understand how different it can be the second time around, how utterly wonderful! Colin and I had our sixth in June, and I posted, too. It was actually one of my favourite posts because of how I felt when I wrote it. If you want to read it, it’s June 14th, in the archives. 🙂
I wish you much happiness as you continue stirring the pot together. 🙂
Karen Swim says
Wendi, Happy Anniversary! Your sentiments so beautiful and so true. Each day is a gift. May you enjoy each one as much as the first.
I’ll be there!!
Jenny’s last blog post..Holy Macaroni!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome says
Happy anniversary! Today (Aug 27) is my parents’ 51st anniversary. For me to reach that with Raul, I’ll need to be 88 (to his 84) – fingers crossed!
Back in June Raul and I celebrated one year together and we celebrate every day. We don’t assume that we’ll be together forever but we act as if we will be. If that makes sense…
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..When Too Much Stuff Happens: Nada Thomson Interview
Thanks so much! I hope for just that!
IT makes complete sense. We do much the same I guess. WE believe we will be together forever, we just don’t want to take it for granted I guess. As Karen said, each day is a gift.
Alex: It totally makes sense!! We can’ t control the uncontrollable, but we can continue to make our own choices each and every day. I always say that: marriage, or partnership, is a daily choice, not a promise made on one day.
Steph’s last blog post..Voluntary Lab Rat
I agree…a daily choice…I like that….Keep stirring that Pot!
Happy Anniversary Wendi!
You’ve really got the right attitude for a marriage. It is like a stew. It has to be stirred and taken care of to come out right. The days snuggled in between – those really are the days that make the anniversaries what they are. Or, for that matter, whatever it is your doing matter. It’s a journey on, and on that journey, it’s not just about reaching the destination (an anniversary, for instance), but it’s about the ride we took to get there. Sounds like your year has been a great ride with many wonderful stops. And some great stew is what you ended up with! Congrats again.
Lance’s last blog post..What Are We Missing?
Mistress O says
Congratulations! It sneaked up on me, Wendikins. I just pulled out the many beautiful photos send a year ago. Just wonderful to sit quietly and look into your radiant face. Treasure these pictures in a special album just for friends, especially those on line whom I have yet to meet. Just amazing how small the world has become to me.
Again, my very best hug to both you and John. Wishes for all the very best in life and loving from
The Hotel Agatha
The Between and Beyond
Congratulations on your anniversary. And a little advance wish:
Happy 97th birthday.
I’m big on “don’t take any days for granted,” but I needed the reminder to stir my own pot. Thanks.
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: It’s You—Yes, YOU—Seeing the World at Dawn
Monika Mundell says
Eben though I’m late to the party, a very happy belated anniversary to you and your husband. Those treasured memories are a treasure to be held forever in your mind.
I wish you the life you do with all the little pots. May you live to 97 in health, happiness and love.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..What Do You Think Of Spotters Fees?
Would you believe it snuck up on us so much that we just finished putting together that wedding album from all of those pictures? IT was just so hard to choose!
Thanks so much!
ITs so good to see you here,
Thank you for the anniversary AND the birhtday wishes! You know I have to remind myself to keep those darn pots stirring…Maybe I need to create T-shirts…or Coffee mugs so we can remember every day!
You never late as long as you arrive! John and I have a aggreement that each birthday and anniversary lasts an entire week. And…this is a holiday weekend so we are celebrating until next Tuesday…Woohoo!
I’m always here, but I’m a terrible lurker. 🙂
Thank you so much for the mention on LLI’s community pages, by the way. I really appreciate what you said about The Kelly Way!
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: It’s You—Yes, YOU—Seeing the World at Dawn
HAPPY LOVE IN! Congrats.
Wendi, I don’t know what happened to my feed from you. But i have re-subscribed.
You are so right, what we focus on expands, good or bad. So the need to be sure our focus is where we really want to see expansion, is my biggest pot. It seems to boil over too often. 🙂
Harmony’s last blog post..IF YOU HAD A CHOICE WOULD YOU SUCK LEMONS
I moved the website to a new home so you probably just needed to subscribe to the new feed. I am so glad you found us. I think balance is always by biggest struggle. My pots are either in risk of boiling over or burning..Keeping them all stirred and in good shape at the same time is always my challenge!
Thanks for the congrats. Its really good to see you back around.
Melissa Donovan says
Happy Anniversary Wendi, and sorry I’m late with my well wishes. I admire you more and more every time I read your posts. So many people take their relationships for granted or expect impossible things from their spouses (or boyfriends/girlfriends) and I’m always inspired by someone who approaches a relationship as something that not only takes work, but is worth the work it takes. I’m inspired. You really give me hope.
Melissa Donovan’s last blog post..Don’t Think, Just Write