From the Journal of the Year of BE-ing.
Day Thirteen:
Such a simple little word. How can such a simple two-letter word be so hard? At first it was fun. Tossing away the goals and To Do lists. It was like finally kicking out the Taskmaster, or running around free when the teacher ran out of the room. Vacation on a sunny beach with too many fancy umbrella drinks.
I’m not cut out for perpetual vacation. Or umbrella drinks.
In my mind I can hear a continual conversation. “What do you want to do?” “I don’t know, I’m BE-ing.” “That’s great, but what do you want to do NEXT?”
I’ve become acutely aware how I am always a beat ahead of myself. In the next moment, running ahead just to be sure I’ve thought of everything, planned out all the possibilities, have a contingency plan for all the potential endings that there could be. Writing the end of the book before the middle is even discovered.
That’s a great skill to have for a consultant and a writer. Not so much for a person learning to live centered in the moment of BE-ing.
I just logged in my 700th day of meditation. You would think I would be good at this by now.
But it turns out that meditation is different than BE-ing. Here is the difference I’ve discovered:
In meditation, for however long that might be, twenty, thirty, sixty minutes… my eyes are closed and I have closed out the world. It is me, myself and the Universe and I have melted out of my being and allowed myself to be absorbed into the cosmic ONE.
But as soon as I am done, I come right back into this body and get right back to thinking about what needs to get done next.
Cross meditation off the list, log in the number and think, NEXT?
(Maybe the word NEXT should have been my word, that would have been a breeze.)
Today after meditation, I did something different.
I did a BE-ing exercise.
The Exercise
It was so simple you can do it wherever you are. Let me be clear. It was simple-it wasn’t easy.
I set a timer for five minutes. Then I sat still with my eyes open. WIDE OPEN.
And just looked around.
Here is the trick. I was practicing BE-ing for the full five minutes. Not sitting there thinking, “Man, I wonder who left that out, and I really should go put the Christmas tree away, and damn it the dog dragged out my shoe, look at it over there under the table! I should get up right now and go put it away!
No… just a mind, sitting still in a room, Be-ing okay with it just as it was, for five minutes.
Can I be really honest with you? That was a fricken LONG FIVE MINUTES! And I meditate!
The Take Away
There were a handful:
One. We don’t really actually LOOK at our environment that much. We think we are wide awake to our surroundings, but, like everything, the things we are exposed to all the time become washed out and grayed out to our minds. We stop looking, we stop seeing. We take things for granted. BE-ing forces us to see. REALLY see. And that can be good and bad, but at least you are seeing what is real.
Two. We don’t listen to ourselves as much as we think we do. Really listen. When you are focused in the moment and BE-ing, you tune in to the chatter. You also realize exactly how much power you have to control your thoughts. You are the gatekeeper. You don’t have to let a single unruly thought past your mind’s doorway. Knock it on its ass and hold the line. BE who you want to BE.
Three. We can BE grace, acceptance and non-judgment. So what if there is a shoe under the table? Seeing it is the first step in doing something about it. Accepting that its just a shoe keeps us objective. There doesn’t need to be an emotional investment in a shoe. Pick it up, move on. Better yet, put it away so the dogs don’t get it next time.
Four. We don’t need to ask ourselves (or anyone else) what to do next. If we are BE-ing, we know. As soon as the five minutes were up, the path was clear. I was compelled to my next action. No figuring it out necessary. This moment of Be-ing led to the next. The Spirit led right to the shoe.
An oversimplified example? Maybe. Easy? Give it a try before you laugh. Sit at your desk for five minutes. DON’T close your eyes. Then just BE.
Then tell me in the comments how you did. I can’t wait to hear all about it!
