“Only the really plain people know about love – the very fascinating ones try so hard to create an impression that they soon exhaust their talents.”
~Katharine Hepburn
I love this quote. Not so much the idea of being plain, that doesn’t appeal to me very much. Frankly, I’d like to believe that I could have love in my life without being plain, but maybe that is my vanity talking.
But the part about the fascinating ones trying so hard…that part fascinates me.
What is it that makes somebody fascinating?
I was—still am—a huge Katharine Hepburn fan. I found her to be a fascinating woman, a woman born way ahead of her time, fearlessly bold, outspoken, not afraid to take chances, vulnerable enough to take risks, fall in love and fail, and pull herself up by her tailored britches and keep right on marching. Her talent too, kept right on marching until her death. She never exhausted her welcome in the public’s opinion.
We found her fascinating. She found herself to be plain.
But one of the things I wouldn’t have accused her of is trying to “make an impression.”
But then again, maybe she did. Don’t we all sometimes? Don’t we all hide our true selves underneath a protective shell, spin ourselves about and try to guess where and how we should pop out to make the best impression on the right people? It isn’t a pretty thing to admit, but…it’s a safe bet that we have all protected ourselves at least once in awhile by closing in, playing it safe, and trying to give them “what they want” instead of “who we really are.”
The Art of Being Plain
Perhaps Katharine wasn’t thinking about boring unattractive faces when she spoke of being plain. Perhaps she was speaking of the wisdom of being plain old us, without pretense, without guile, open and vulnerable to the fears and pains of rejection and rebuttal that comes from being plain old us- and not what we pretend to be when others are looking.
I think she was speaking of the kind of plain that allows us to be vulnerable, honest, generous, gracious, open. These are traits that can’t grow when we are trying so hard to impress, or trying so hard to hide behind our protective shells.
Only the really plain people know about love…
Only the ones willing to be raw, willing to be cut wide open, be transparent, be seen for who—and what— they are, only the ones who are willing to risk vulnerability.
I take it back. The idea of being plain is starting to appeal to me after all. Vanity be damned. What good has that ever done for me anyhow?
