It seems like a minute ago there were ice cycles glistening on the trees outside my kitchen windows, melting in tiny droplets from the bright sun. A promise of a spring hovering somewhere nearby.
I must have blinked and missed it, because now outside that very same window the blistering sun is bearing down on a garden full of weeds and drooping tomatoes wondering how in the world July is hanging on the horizon.
This year is a speeding train thundering down the track, stopping nowhere and waiting for no one. I have a nagging urge to start my Christmas cards now because I have a feeling when I blink again, there will be Salvation Army bells ringing at the grocery store.
It steals my breath away.
There are days that moments after I write my daily plan, it is obsolete and flying out the window. Days when the organization of the past just doesn’t cut it and I am flying by the seat of my pants and thanking God above that someone told me Improve class would really come in handy some day.
There are other days that without my morning and evening routines firmly in place, I would be lost, floundering about like a fish, tossed on the shore in a storm.
It pays to be flexible. I take my guidance from the sea. I try to relax into the larger waves of life, trying hard not to fight them, staying focused and alert and on top of things; then calming, as the waves get smaller, trying to remember to take those moments of peace before the next set starts up again. Always knowing they will come. Not being knocked off guard by the next set of waves.
Ebb and flow, the balance of life.
It’s hard to keep that balance. It’s an easy thing to lose and this year especially, it’s been hard to hang on to. Find it in one area, it slips in another. Coaching’s going great, writing fiction? Sure…great…doing it every day like clock work. Exercise, diet?… yep…finally back on track. House? Yep..good…family good…
Then one day John asks casually… haven’t seen a post at LLI for awhile… Taking a break or something?
Um…yea, has it really been that long?
Time slipping through my fingers again. Why is it always the important things…and sometimes people… we let slip away?
Weeds in the garden, lack 0f posts at LLI, haven’t touched a paintbrush in months…journal buried under a pile of papers… for me, when life turns up the speed, I lose my meditative edge and forget those stolen moments that were just for me. I keep working on the ones that are geared toward helping others improve their lives or producing some work of art for payment, or church or a project for an interesting cause. These are my focus while in the mean time my own inner light is spinning precariously closer to burn out.
Been there done that before. Not interested in ever going back there again. Although I think my “take on everything I see” type of personality leaves me a prime target for burn out, I have had to deal with this lesson a few times now. It’s a faster walk around the block. I am quicker to see the warning signs flashing around me.
What I need back are my stolen morning moments. Plucked away from the first drops of morning dew before the sun has time to steal them back again. My morning meditation time and private musings gives me the creative juice to send it out again into the rest of the day.
I picked up my journal today. The pages that stared back at me accusingly had a date on it that I am too ashamed to share. This from a woman who faithfully wrote in it most every morning for years. It felt great to pour the details of my days back into the little book where they belong and get all of that nonsense out of my head. It may seem hard to believe, but I think it even slows that rushing train down a little bit.
It restores balance. The ebb and flow.
And leaves room in my head to go focus on other things. Like coming here.
It feels good to be back.
I am positive that everyone has missed you. I always look forward to reading your inspiring posts, they usually help me through whatever may be happening.
Since I have lost my job 4 weeks ago, I’ve been kind of lost and trying to get things on track, but it hasn’t been easy. Looking for a job is never easy, but with the economy these days, its’ even harder. I am already starting to feel pangs of discouragement.
I hope you do get back into regular posts, I know I’ve missed them.
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..Still No Title…But Here’s More! =-.
Thanks Jenny! I’ll do my best! I know that job hunting is a very hard, self esteem mangling thing to do.
Hmmm, Send me an e-mail,I may have a few thoughts for you on that.
It’s good to see you back, my friend. Your words are always so grounding and connecting for me. Today, that continues to hold true Life…it gets in they way sometimes…of our best laid out plans. That’s okay. Part of what makes life worth living, is in “experiencing” all those moments when they’re upon us. The ebb and flow our our lives…
Wendi, welcome back to this space of yours…
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day =-.
Writer Dad says
Your back! I know exactly how you feel. There’s so much I’ve let fall by the wayside in favor of my must do’s.
Welcome back. : >)
.-= Writer Dad´s last blog ..Serial and Milk: Available Darkness – Chapter Ten =-.
Karen Swim says
Your voice was missed and I’m glad you’re back! This post so closely mirrors my own life this year. Is it something in the air? Thanks for sharing the inspiration and strength, going off to steal a little bit of me time…thanks to you. 🙂
So glad to see old friends haven’t left me by the wayside!
Those in- between moments are my two kids. firmly in the midst of mid- teen years and “Taxi-mom” has become an almost full-time job!
A few more blinks and they will be grown though…can’t afford to miss it.. you know?
Those must do’s are a long list right now… and I know your’s are just as long if not longer! I am having a time of it just keeping up with you! Enjoying the Monthly story though, even if I have been a terrible friend about giving you feedback, I have been reading it faithfully.
Really, I do think it might be the air, or the water we are breathing, wasn’t the election just a second ago? How is it almost six months ago that we were all whooping and hollering on one side or the other…
Seriously…six months to Christmas…
I need those stolen moments to put on the brakes.
I don’t think I told you- but really…I am very proud of you for finishing that novel. Be proud. Don’t forget what a great thing that was. It all had to start there.
Good blogs are like comfortable old friends. You dont’ have to necessarily do something with them every week to keep them going.
You can let them alone for a while. Weeks, months….no problem. They’ll always be there….you just pick up where you left off.
Nice to see you back, though.
.-= Friar´s last blog ..Small-town Momemts #561 and #562 =-.
Oh yes, I know of what you speak. After reading your post, I tried to think of the last time I just sat with my journal, or cards, or even just a good fiction book. Or when did I just stare into space and get back in touch with my spirituality? Answer = I have no bloody idea. That is not good! Time to work that back in on a more regular basis.
.-= Eliza´s last blog ..Empty Nest Syndrome is very real =-.
Janice Cartier says
Life is messy.
We can jump into that or sit on the shore and watch it go by. Sometimes we splash in those waves, sometimes we wade out a little deep…but then we come out.. spread out the beach blanket, and put it all in perspective, maybe express what all the splashing is about for us.
Both, we need both, don’t we?
This post flows beautifully. The words are such a treat.
And we’re here. Happy as always to read them.
.-= Janice Cartier´s last blog ..Cut and Paste and Color =-.
It’s so comforting to know that what we have built here is substantial enough to survive a break. that the community is built on real friendships and people that care and know each other.
That means a lot to me. Thanks for being a part of that.
All of you…thank you.
By the way, Have I ever mentioned that your name is beautiful? The wonderful thing about each new day is that it is another chance to start over. Make a new chance to begin fresh.
One of the things I like to say when I feel that way is : “My life begins today” Because it can.
You speak the way you paint and I love that about you. And yes,, we need both. Ebb and flow..ebb and flow. Can’t have one without the other. Water that doesn’t move gets stagnent and dies.
Melinda | WAHM Biz Builder says
Woot! Great to see you posting again Wendi!
This year is half over? *looks around in astonishment* When did that happen?
.-= Melinda | WAHM Biz Builder´s last blog ..How Big Do You Want To Be? =-.