“Whatever anyone does or says, I must be emerald and keep my colour.”
~Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.
At four, I sat among the rocks in the rock garden while my family waited inside to celebrate my birthday. Gazing at the piercing blue sky, I was overcome for the first of many, many moments of thinking, “I am running out of time to decide what I came here for… What am I supposed to be?”
Yes. Four years old. I came into this world knowing I had a purpose, a mission- if you will- and all of my life I have been haunted by that single guiding thought that time will run out before I “drink of the silver cup of my purpose.”
Many times I have shared that story and discovered I am far, far from alone. Many of us are guided by that inner knowing that we have a job to do here, and when we are off target, straying too far to the left or right of that purpose, we feel the clock ticking. We return to our core, or we suffer that insistent longing, the drumbeat of the soul that calls, whispers in every breeze and reminds us in mysterious lyrics to songs, poems and strangers’ words—Get back to being you- back to your reason for being.
If we lose track of that purpose, if we stray from the road, depression waits. Shadows engulf, sucking us in, despair rocks us to our very cells. We simply cannot function without being true to our own center core.
Our own true colors. Our message, our heart and soul.
We know it, we are reminded of it over and over by the backlash of darkness, and yet, time and time again… we stray. We sell out, we compromise, we give in so we don’t make waves, so everyone else will be happy, so their work in the world can shine, so their miracles can be completed.
We hold their banners high, we fly their colors instead of our own. Soon… ours is down, forgotten again in the spirit of helping others, being kind, not being yelled at, called out or judged and once again- we hide our colors.
Here is what I know- even though I sometimes forget:
In order to shine, you have to wave your own colors high and proud. You can’t wait, you can’t compromise, you can’t blend your colors in with anyone else’s. Too many colors make mud.
A muddy life is depressing.
In order to make a difference in this world, you have to be different. You have to be one of a kind, one shining light, a singular created being, not striving toward something, not reaching to become…only BEING. You are already everything you need to be to make a difference. You…are…YOU.
A brilliant colorful unique combination of colors that make up only you.
Do you know your true colors?
Fly them high.