This is really bizarre.
I mean really, really bizarre. It’s the first “Get Back to Work” Monday of the new year and I am looking at a blank page where all my goals for the new year should be.
For several decades, my list would have been at least two pages long. Five categories: Health& Fitness, Family, Finances, Personal & Spiritual. Then in each of the categories there would be a list in the list. With stars on the really, really important ones, and smiley faces for the “Would be nice” ones.
The last seven, maybe eight, years now, I started choosing a Word of the Year. As the years have gone by and my word has become more and more powerful, something started happening to those lists.
I didn’t look at them quite so often. I would look at my word, glance at my list and then noticed something interesting. If I focused on the word, all of the things that really mattered to me on that list actually got done. And the rest of it? Maybe I didn’t actually care that much about it anyway.
So why was it even on the darn list in the first place?
Hmmm. That was worth journaling about. So I did.
Turns out that many of the things that had been carried over on my list year after year were things that “sounded” like things that “should” be on my list. Things I really ought to be getting around to, if I was a “Good” person.
Huh? Where the hell did I get a dumb idea like that?
So those stupid things were crossed off the list. They didn’t match up with my WORD so off the list they went.
Then a few years ago, my word was VIBRANT. Well, that was a fun year. I looked at that list and sure enough, all these dull, boring, TO DO items, day after day, expectations that- guess what? Nobody but me actually expected me to do them anyhow, but I had created an expectation that they had to be done or…. or WHAT?
Off the list they went.
Last year my word was LOVE. Here is a hint for all of you Word of the Year, folks. The ones who come here with LOVE as their mission? They don’t drive in the slow lane. Holy Friggen NUTS, Boys and girls!!!
Don’t pick that word unless you are seriously in for the ride of your life. Last year was EMOTIONALLY TOUGH. Faith testing in ways I can’t even tell you. Life and death, tears, heartache, scary, scary, not even breathing moments, but the most intense reminders of how much love I do have, and that the people I share it with have. The bonds of LOVE that hold my world together were infallible this year. And I wouldn’t have traded that depth for anything. But…oh heck, what a ride.
When I put LOVE on the list, there wasn’t room for anything else. All the rest of the stuff got wiped away. Gone. Done. It was Love or Bust this last year and all of my priorities became crystal clear. Like, Hard as a Diamond clear.
This year, my word of the year came to me in a whisper, in a prayer, and over and over again in meditation.
Now here is the funny thing about that tiny little word. It requires a deep commitment to being PRESENT. In the moment. Focused. Whatever you are doing, DO it. Whoever you are with, BE with them. Whatever you are thinking, THINK it, just it. Whatever you are feeling, FEEL it. Don’t run away, don’t reach forward, don’t strive, don’t look back, don’t jump into the “what ifs” or the “I shouldn’t have” or the “If only I did.” Regret and pushing have no place in BE.
And neither does two pages of goals that take me more time to write and look at every day than just BE-ing the person that gets that stuff done.
Do I still want to lose weight in time for my daughter’s wedding this year? Hell yes! I want to BE a very hot mama!
So what’s the difference?
The difference is I need to BE the person who eats like a hot mama. BE the person who desires healthy living. Think those thoughts, enjoy those things, live the hot mama life. Not thinking about losing the weight and striving to lose the weight, and feeling guilty for not doing it, and doing better tomorrow, and THEN someday I might get there. I need to BE a person who lives like that every day. Focused, awake, attentive and committed. One thing at a time.
So, done with BE-ing the writer now for the moment. I’m hungry, and it’s Hot Mama time.