photo by Wendi Kelly
When I was coming of age into my teen years, my oh-so-wise mother sat me down for THE Talk.
Only my mother didn’t want to talk about birds…or bees. She wanted to talk about jewelry. And value. And why some things were valued more than others.
She talked to me about things that were common. About how if they were in unlimited supply and anyone could have them, then…well…frankly, people lost interest in them and nobody wanted them. They were the things in our lives that stacked up in the corners, in the dark…like trash.
She talked to me about the five-cent rings you can get from the bubble gum machine. How, when you first see them, they are all glittery and sparkly, but when you pay your nickel and take them out of the plastic bubble, they are never what you hoped for them to be. They bend and warp. They get dull. And the small little gem turns out to be nothing more than colored plastic.
Always, always disappointing. Always easily forgotten. Always ultimately discarded.
Then We Spoke About Diamonds.
We talked about how rare they are, how long it takes for nature to create a natural diamond. How hard it is to excavate them. How difficult it is to “cut” them, a complicated process that requires specific training, skills, tools and talent. Not just anyone is worthy of the task.
We talked about their hardness and unsurpassed durability, how years of extreme pressure make them able to withstand trauma that would destroy other stones. The diamond didn’t become the most durable stone overnight. It received that title by its lifetime of painstaking creation.
We talked about value. About rarity. About how the diamond is desired BECAUSE it is set apart from the masses and because not everyone can have it. It is exclusive. It is special. It is unique.
My mother ended her talk by telling me that she thought of me as a diamond. And she wanted me to always think of myself as one too. She wanted me to make sure that I represented myself as a diamond to the world. Especially Boys. (It was…after all, the talk.)
My mother thought she was talking about boys.
But that day she taught me one of the most valuable lessons about life I’ve ever learned. If I want to be a Human Being of the Highest Value- in any area of my life- I have to decide what kind of gem I am.
I have to be honest. I haven’t always remembered to treat myself as a diamond. Sometimes I forget. I know in my heart that I am a diamond, but I have sometimes forgotten to treat myself like one. I have settled for treating myself like a five-cent bubble gum ring. I have sometimes said things in my self-talk like:
I don’t have time to take care of myself now, there is too much to get done.
I don’t deserve that, I’ll wait until…
I’ll get the cheaper one, I’ll just work around the parts that aren’t right for me, that’s okay…
Someday I’ll take the time to________ but right now I have to concentrate on other...
And what is sadder, I have allowed other people to treat me that way too.
I have had a mindset that I should settle for what is good enough (and appallingly, a few times it was downright awful!) rather than put in the time, energy and focus required to get what I needed to treat myself like the high-quality person that I am- and should be.
We live in a world where we have been trained to settle. Especially women. (Sorry guys.) Many of our mothers came from a culture where the men in their worlds were put first and foremost at all costs and their needs were put last or sadly never. This unspoken behavior, that we watched and modeled, permeated our spirits at a cellular level, creating a push-pull reaction in our soul anytime we have a need or desire of our own.
We don’t feel worthy of calling ourselves a diamond. Our minds reach out-immediately wondering what gem represents the serving stone- perhaps the one that everyone sits on. That feels more like the REAL us.
Sadly, we wait for someone else to declare us a diamond- or put one on our finger- to accept that self-worth for ourselves. Even then, the moment is fleeting.
Until we claim the power of the diamond for ourselves, until we are willing to accept nothing less than the absolute best for ourselves, until we are willing to become the Highest Quality Person we were born to be…we will continue to struggle with the five-cent version of ourselves.
The only person that can change that for ourselves is…
us.
I AM…a Diamond.
Are you?
