A consistent drumbeat of rain has been my companion this gloomy Monday morning as I sit here catching up on my lists and projects. The drainpipe out my window has the hollow pitter-patter of rainwater splattering as it hits the ground below. It’s a good day to put a few logs in the fireplace, rustle up a pot of steaming hot Chili and cornbread for dinner and hunker in for the day.
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
Isn’t that what Karen Carpenter taught us back in 1971? A gloomy rainy Monday is a good enough reason to call in the depression? I don’t usually have that reaction. A good rainy Monday might feel like a slower more relaxed start, or I might not feel like hitting the ground running at warp speed but a little rain doesn’t usually have the power to make me want to throw the covers back over my head. What’s funny is that all these years later a good rainy Monday will get me thinking about that song. It was one of my favorites back then, all the way back then when I was eleven and really believed that a rainy Monday was as good a reason as any other to throw in the towel and give in to the gloomy attitude that was always hovering just one raincloud over my pre-teen head. Everything seemed like a near-tragedy back then. Now I look at the words and I wonder what in the world I was thinking to listen to that garbage.
RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS
Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old
Sometimes I’d like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin’ around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
What I’ve got they used to call the blues
Nothin’ is really wrong
Feelin’ like I don’t belong
Walkin’ around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it’s the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me.
What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it’s all about
Hangin’ around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
Then I remember. There are days that people…and I am one of them, really do feel like that once in awhile. There are some people that feel like that most of the time. There are a few people that feel like that ALL of the time.
Feeling like they want to quit, feeling like nothing fits. Feeling like they don’t belong, some kind of lonely clown, hangin’ around, with nothing to do but frown…
Are we there to encourage them? Are we going to be the ones they come running to for a little encouragement? The one they will run to, to find the one who loves them?
OR do we get impatient. Do we tell them to snap out of it, this won’t last, it’s only Monday, the sun will come out tomorrow…bet your bottom dollar…
Do we listen or do we deflect?
Are we a haven in their storm? A beacon? A light?
I have to be careful. Because sometimes in my earnest attempt at being positive and hopeful, I push so hard at the darkness that I risk pushing away the person feeling consumed with the darkness. They can’t separate themselves enough from it to realize that I’m not pushing THEM away. I don’t want to do that. I want to encourage, love, comfort, be that haven from the rain that they so desperately need.
I try to be aware. But it’s tricky. On rainy Mondays, maybe because of that silly song, I am more aware. It reminds me to be thoughtful. It reminds me that some people are feeling like that and I need to be sensitive and alert. Not just blundering through with my Pollyanna attitudes and platitudes expecting that everyone else is having a good day too.
When I say “How’s your day?” I mean it…I’m trying to look carefully and with sensitivity to what’s going on. And yes…I should be doing this on sunny days too. It’s a good reminder for every day.
But that Karen…she belted out a message that is going to stick with me forever…and somehow Rainy Days and Mondays always get me…
More Aware.
Wendi, I do believe that being more aware of the darkness, being able to hear the rain… even if we can shake it off again now – well that can make you more understanding, a better listener, someone that others can turn to.
I can’t read for long the work of people who don’t seem ever to see, hear or feel it. It doesn’t make the same kind of human connection.
You’re most certainly not one of them.
Here’s to rainy old Mondays, and sharing songs as we move through them
Joanna Young’s last blog post..5 Power Packed Posts to Keep You Thinking After Blog Action Day
“Feeling like they want to quit, feeling like nothing fits. Feeling like they don’t belong, some kind of lonely clown, hangin’ around, with nothing to do but frown…”
Been there, done that, going back again… unfortunately.
Jenny’s last blog post..Moments
Thank you Joanna, you bring up a good point, that it seems to be the ones who have gone through the storms of life that seems to have the most compassion. We do know that some hours feel very dark indeed. And also that feeling that feels like things will never feel any brighter. I think it always feels more hopeful to be encouraged from someone who has lived through the storm than from somone who has-or acts like they have- never seen a rainy day in their whole life.
Jenny my love,
I’m here, and I’m listening, and I have a ton of hugs just waiting for you. Come on and run to the one who loves you.
Wendi
You should also listen to Gordon LIghtfoot, then. He compliments what Karen Carpenter sings:
Rainy day people always seem to know when its time to call.
Rainy day people don’t talk, they just listen till they’ve heard it all.
Rainy day lovers don’t lie when they tell ya they’ve been down like you.
Rainy day people dont mind if you’re cryin’ a tear or two.
Friar’s last blog post..Six Habits out of Seven Ain’t Bad.
The Flip Side.
On the upswing. I feel I can do anything, almost fly. But, then hey, no sleep for hours at a time. The mid races and nothing is ever totally completed, not even sentences. For “normals”, this is like a thousand radios turned on, all the info focused on you. “Normals” can focus on one radio and turn down or off, all the others. Those of us who are Bipolar, can’t focus and frantically switch from radio to radio getting stressed and frantic.
Rainy days are best for me. I long for them and the peace they bring. Yet, you are right, Wendi. It is too much for others to even come close to grasping and thus the . . . get over it crap. Or the mentioned Pollyanna light bright stuff. I will never call you a Pollyanna, Wendi, as I totally loath true Pollyannas. They ring fake and fraud to me. Even the movie, I walked out on! Puts my teeth on edge even thinking of such persons. So, I choose the real you, the shadows and light of you, the sunshine and the rain of you.
In this post, you have been honest and a beacon and a light.
Thanks for knowing that you and all of us falls short. And thanks for your commitment to being aware and sensitive. . . on those Rainy Day Mondays and Sunshiny Tuedays, as well!
Hugs,
Ms. O
Beautiful words, Wendi. I’ve bee on all ends of that spectrum, and I think you captured that outside-looking-in feeling well. Thank you.
Jamie Simmerman’s last blog post..The Cure for Depression: Nick Vujicic
Wendi, honey, STOP SENDING YOUR RAIN SOUTH. I’m drowning in bad day rainy Monday over here. LOL
My mom was singing this song this morning. Y’all need to stop ganging up on me with your Carpenters. 😉
Seriously though, I agree with what you’ve said here about the reminder to be sensitive. It’s something I’m not very good at. I like to think everyone gets my sense of humor and thinks I’m funny. And then I make someone cry and feel like a big jerk. 😐
Yes, reminders are good.
*goes back to listening to the rain*
Amy Derby’s last blog post..Review of Liz Strauss’ Ebook: The Secret to Writing a Successful and Outstanding Blog
Wendi,
What a gift it is to not feel “like I want to quit, that nothing fits” these days.. From someone who has been in that dark place, I embrace the light. I remember when I got married to Gary (a lifetime ago!) and you were my maid of honor. we were driving to the church . it was raining and you said “don’t worry about the rain, it is God’s way of giving you a fresh start in life”.. How symbolic.. I have had a “few” fresh starts in life.. and I am grateful for each and every one. Don’t know if this comment is applicable in any way but it got me thinking…=)
When I lived in Portland, it rained all the time. I don’t recommend living there. You don’t live there do you? I hope not, because not only does it rain there more than most places, but I’m pretty sure Mondays happen more frequently.
Oktober Five’s last blog post..¿Y Por Eso Estás Contenta?
Wendi, you make such a powerful point. I live on the sunny side of the street too but in spite of my best efforts rain falls here too at times. I agree with you about being sensitive to others and not coming off as Suzy Sunshine all the time. You maintain a great balance Wendi and I don’t think anyone ever feels that here.
Wendi,
The one that I get stuck in my head on Mondays is the Boomtown Rats’ “Tell Me Why I Don’t Like Mondays.” I was more of the rebel Monday-hater than the gloomy type. I like to stomp and shout at a mood that’s buggering me, and then go Pollyanna and sing that the sun’ll come out…
That’s my ideal when a funk hits me, but sometimes, it washes over me and refuses to be punched and stomped away. At those times it’s best for me to just let it happen. “Be blue,” I tell me. When I give myself permission, it doesn’t last as long.
So with friends, I give permission, too. I’d rather acknowledge a mood than fight it in myself or in a friend. There’s a lot of healing in just saying, “Yeah, I’ll hang out with you, dustbunnies or not, so why would moodbunnies bother me?”
Have I mixed enough metaphors here?
Then my work is done. 🙂
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Mirror, Mirror, Who the Heck Is That?
Sometimes you can take that crappy Monday energy and you can turn it into something positive.
Okay, World. You wanna be like that? Fine…well, two can play at that game. I’LL SHOW YOU!
And then I might go paint something.
Time and time again, I’ve done some of my best watercolors when I was feeling quite Monday-ish.
Friar’s last blog post..Perfesser Friar’s Favorite Science Facts.
It’s hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. People tend to be self-absorbed, unfortunately. But it IS important to try.
Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Chocolate-Covered Strawberries
Friar,
I don’t know that Gordan Lightfoot song. I’ll have to go look it up. And yes, I agree, I love to put on some good music and turn to my paint when the *Monday mood * does get to me. Paint works wonders. It’s SO thereputic.
Mistress O,
Glad things are on the upswing and I pray that your ceiling is in a good place and your ebb and flow is gentle. Thank you for the complement. Hugs my dear friend.
Jamie,
I too am a full-spectured woman. And I have prayed many times never to forget what any of it feels like. I always want to be aware. 🙂
Amy,
I have PLENTY of times opened my quick mouth and left charred remains in my wake.One thing about LLI, what I write about, I have messed up myself often. If I write a reminder, you can rest assured I need it the most!
Kari,
Ah yes, the rainy wedding…I DO remember that. And I do often feel like a good rain feels as if it washed everything away and gives us a fresh start. Why not? We can Choose to begin again every day if we need to. Every hour if need be. We can always choose.
I hang on to that.
October Five.
No I am a Chicago Girl. But I have always wanted to go to Portland. I’ll trade the rain for the snow. I’m not a fan of snow.
Karen,
Thanks, I try…but as I said…I sometimes put my foot in my mouth…it’s easier in writing…but in the physical world, sometimes the tongue can be quicker then the common sense. That’s where it gets more challenging!
Kelly,
I don’t know that song. But I agree with you on just letting the mood ride…also with Friar about painting or doing something with it. And hanging with friends in the mood, I’m there. Yep.
As far as mixing metaphors, I do it so much I rarely notice anymore when others do it! LOL!
Vered, yes it IS hard. Especially for a quick tongue like myself. But I have to try. OR my daughter will bop me on the head. ( JUst kidding- sort of…
It is always good to practice some compassion for others. A word to comfort and heal can mean much to the other person, perhaps far more than we realize. Let us choose to say words that uplift others rather than be unaware of the bad day that they may just be going through.
Evelyn Lim’s last blog post..Can You Read My Mind?
Evelyn,
That is the Safest plan for sure! Good point!
I have always loved that song (even though it does sound depressing reading it within your post).
I have friends that are usually down and it is tricky to balance being a positive light and being a friend that allows them to just be still in what they are feeling. Do they want me to be a light or do they just want me to sit quietly with them in the darkness. Sometimes it’s hard to know the best way to help.
Stacey / Create a Balance’s last blog post..Introducing My Authentic Self
isn’t it wonderful wendi….
when karen carpenter sang the song…do you think she knew that decades later the words of the song would be a trigger to people to grow, to love to become?
we just have no idea how are daily acts can change the world.
you are changing the world wendi every time to lift our vision to new heights.
Harmony’s last blog post..Stop Thinking
Wow Wendi – You’re bringing back a lot of memories. I remember the song and do you know, I didn’t realize it was about depression. I think I just liked to hear her sing it, and singing along.
You’ve brought up some great points. There are many who are depressed and if we can be a beacon of light. Like you said, we just need to be more aware. Thanks for the reminder.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..NBOTW – Bringing Me To Tears