Imagine this:
There is an immense crater, the size of a small lake. Where water once flowed from a nourishing stream, it is now a barren river bed. It smells like death. Dust drifts away at the slightest breeze, deepening the crevice, cracking the ground. Where the lake used to be, the underwater plants have shriveled from the sun’s glare, lying flat against the hard, hot surface of the crater. Fish and other lake-life, suffocated and starved as the water evaporated, now rot and decay in the beating glare of the mid-day sun. Scavengers and vultures pick over the neglected remains.
And in the center, a fountain flows, wet and beautiful, vibrant and nourishing, spreading its wonder for all to see.
HUH? WHAT? HOW COULD THAT BE???
It can’t. Of course it can’t. We all know there is no fountain coming out of that wretched wasteland. Beauty doesn’t spring from the center of neglect. Life doesn’t flow from the center of death.
Yet, over and over and over again, I speak with clients and friends who lament that they just can’t justify taking the time or energy to put themselves on the A-list for self care, renewal, education, restoration, preservation, medical attention, love or even kindness.
They are too busy, they don’t like themselves, their families-jobs-art-vacation-ADHD-excuse-(insert reason of the month)- comes first. And they never make the list.
But- they expect, and are hopelessly disappointed in themselves when it doesn’t happen- to be able to create from the center of their sorry, neglected beings, a fountain of wonderful water of life to give to their loved ones, their careers, and their creativity.
Here is the dried up, cracked, withered and ugly truth:
You can’t get a fountain out of a crater.
You know that. When you pair that vision in your mind of a dried up, cracked, withered and ugly crater in your mind, with the vision of a gorgeous fountain spouting out of the center of it, the idea is so absurd that it is hard to visualize. The two images don’t go together. They are like oil and water, they don’t mix. And yet, time and time again, we try to connect those same disjointed elements in our own lives.
We try to get abundance, love and the good life to spring forth out of the dried up, cracked, withered and ugly expressions of our neglected bodies, minds, spirit and soul.
How’s That Gonna Happen, Exactly?
We don’t get enough sleep, but somehow we expect to have energy, and complain when we experience fatigue.
We don’t eat healthy, exercise, fuel our bodies with nutrition or water, but complain that we are fat, out of shape and/or sick.
We overload on alcohol, sugar, negativity, unsolvable stress, worry, anxiety, hatred, violence and gossip and then complain that we have no serenity, peace or patience.
Really? No kidding.
Our world seems to have forgotten about cause and effect.
What you sow, you must also reap. What goes up, must come down. You are what you eat…
Those platitudes stick around for a reason. They are the truth.
This isn’t a pleasant post. It’s a plain old, ugly, grab you by the shoulders and shake you until you wake up post. And if you are already awake, maybe you could pass it along. We need more awake people. People with water in their lakes. People who are taking the time to take care of themselves, renewing themselves, restoring, rejuvenating, body, mind and spirit.
People are crying out for help. They want answers. They are spending millions of dollars looking for solutions to stop the hurting, stop the loneliness, stop the pain of separation, stop the hopelessness.
And they need to know the truth.
It starts with putting the water back in your own lake first.
P.S. – Lakes don’t fill themselves. Find a stream higher than yourself to fill your lake with. You will be glad you did.
So important to get this word out Wendi! I finally realized a few years ago that you must put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help the other folks on the airplane. Thanks for the reminder.
Elaine Wellman\’s last post… Silence That Nasty Little Voice and Save My Hair Please
“You can’t get a fountain out of a crater”, I LOVE this!!! Your post is so smart and tough, how can we refuse the challenge?? I’m awake, I’m awake!!! Passing this along, oh yes!!! Thanks for the tough love, GF! xo
Pamela Wills\’s last post… Create Your Own Story
Tell it, Wendi!!! Preach it, girl!!! Once again, you mesmerize and pull me right in to your vision — and your powerful message — with your vivid writing and kickass storytelling. Love this! Course I instantly thought of Burning Man (again, I know — I’m obsessed still) — because that is a wondrous man-made vision that springs forth FROM a dried-up ancient lake bed. How. Weird. Is. That?! You and I are in sync! And yet — is it sustainable? I found myself concerned that people talked about it as “home.” It’s not home. It’s an “engine of possibility” that reminds us what can be — as long as we do take care of ourselves. (Believe you me — if you didn’t bring water out there you were unprepared and in trouble.) What a great kick in the arse and reminder to Wake Up. LOVE the starkness, courage and unvarnished truth of your post. Your wisdom. LOVE too the reminder about Cause and Effect. Yesyesyes. Personal responsibility. Indeed! I, too, see so much frustration, sadness, suffering in entrepreneurs — because they don’t want to look at their own blocks. Basic needs. Nor dig deep. Yet that is what’s required, along with the nurture. Then we and only then can we help others transform.
Rachel Resnick\’s last post… “Doug Dirt” Proves the Power & Fascination of Personal Narrative — If You’re Not Using It in Business, You’re Missing Out!
Oh, Wendi, what a fantastic analogy. Truly brilliant and full of nothing but truth (ugly truth to boot). I was just talking to my mom the other day. She is in the first few weeks of retirement and she mentioned how disappointed she is with herself about not doing much during the day. I thought, “that is such an old-school model of thinking.” If you want to do nothing for a little while as you adjust into a completely new identity….Hell, go for it! And don’t feel bad about it either. I’m sending her this post STAT! <3, thank you!
Kerry Swetmon\’s last post… 3 Steps to Successful Launches