Goals, goals, goals. I am very good at setting goals. My To-DO list used to be so long that it looks like the old Sears Christmas Catalog. Filled with tons of things I really, really wanted to do, but never seemed to get to.
My To-Do list had lists of its own. Some items had been there for years. After awhile, my to-do list became more of a “Things I might just get around to someday” list than anything I actually felt I might complete.
I was overwhelmed. I needed a new system.
I created a simple system that works for me.
My system is a question. Every time I sit down and answer it, my goals and priorities get crystal clear.
The One Single Question:
What is it going to take for me to feel content and happy right now?
What I have discovered, is that on different days…months…even years, this answer changes. I have discovered that the question needs to be asked frequently and with care. If I don’t revisit the question with vigilant focus, I find myself reacting to past priorities that no longer fit. I may be in a habit of doing something that no longer works for me. I may be living unconsciously, or by a list of priorities that actually belong to someone else and not me.
I ask this question in both business and my personal life and compare notes. Some months, the thing that gets me revved up is a spell of creative writing, or a particularly successful business month knowing we made a difference in our clients’ lives. However, I know that no amount of business success will ever make me feel complete if my house is a mess and my family is being ignored, so I need to temper my business ambitions with my personal life.
Today, like I usually do, I asked the question to myself over coffee and journal time. The answer was a clear and resounding, “Enjoy a relaxed and serene evening with my family.” So what needs to change on my priority list for that to happen?
I take out my list of things I would like to get done, and write my new priority right at the top. Then, what are the things that need to occur for that top priority to be met. They are listed in order. Everything else that falls out of alignment with that number one goal are re-arranged, put on the back burner or looked at with a practical eye to see how else that task can get accomplished.
My mother has always said, “We can have anything we want in this life, we just can’t have it all at once.”
As much as we love to approach life like a kid at the candy store, double-fisted and grabbing all the candy we can, the best way to happiness and contentment is to make sure we are filling the MOST IMPORTANT needs right now. We need to be practical and we need to be honest with ourselves.
What is it going to take for you to feel content and happy right now?
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Wendy, I needed to hear this – your system is GOLDEN! Simple, focused, and right on target. Thank you so much 🙂
Miriam Wiener\’s last post… A Time to THRIVE
Miriam,
In my experience, complicated means won’t get done. Simple means elegant success. So glad it resonated with you!
Brilliant in its simplicity,Wendi. I’ve been really unfocused today, and in asking myself the question you suggested, the answer came to me that what I need to feel content and happy right now is to rest! So it’s an early night for me tonight!
Thank you. 🙂
Mia Rose\’s last post… Feelings ~ The Only Compass You’ll Ever Need
Mia,
Sounds like you got a smart answer! Whenever I feel unfocused, that is usually exactly what I need too. (Or water.)
I love this post Wendi. As entrepreneurs, we so often put ourselves on the bottom of our own “to-do” lists. That leaves us feeling depleted and even resentful at times. In that state, we’re just not able to create, engage or uplift in the way we want to. Here’s to a simple, straightforward agenda with success built in.
Cindy Ratzlaff ? (@BrandYou)\’s last post… 3 Low-Cost Marketing Strategies for Self-Published Authors
Cindy,
Yes, especially as creative entrepreneurs, (and really, are there any other kind?) we have to be so careful of our reserves of energy, and making sure we are taking care of our own needs isn’t selfish, it is mission critical both for our business and our personal and family lives. Those around us will be happier when we are sending out loving energy too. Success all around!
Cheers!
Wendi this is so true and so beautifully simple. The essence of time management! It also fits right in with my theme for the year, Love Your Self. Why stress out over the millions of to-dos we pile onto our Selves?? Sitting with a short list every morning, or every evening for the next day, to decide on what will make me happy NOW is brilliant. Thank you for sharing this idea!
I love your Theme for the year, Pam. Mine is to live Vibrantly. Which- I quickly decided, means living filled with love, wellness, contentment and happiness and the desire to share that with everyone. And to do it with a constant awareness and continual deciding. This helps with that daily decision.
Here’s to your loving life!
I love this post, Wendi. I have found as I age too that things are more easily sorted out. It becomes more clear what is important. Your system is great – I’m all about systems:)
Kerry Swetmon\’s last post… Some of my Favorite Products
Oh, Wendi! You have just changed how I will start each day! I get too caught up in the “should’s” and before I know it I am exhausted and overwhelmed. But, any tips for staying the course, when the urge to start listing out all those to do’s?
Hi Wendi,
This is so true and something that I am putting into practise. We all know the things we ‘shoud’ do but do we really want to. I have been doing a lot of reflection lately. Thanks for a great article.
warm regards
Carole
Carole Lyden\’s last post… We need to talk: 7 ways to master successful dialogue with your therapist
Hi Carole!
Great to see you here!
I am a great believer in tossing the shoulds out the window and focusing on the coulds. As in, let’s think about all the possibilities that could happen if we put down the heavy burden of those shoulds and negative voices in our head that we think we have to listen to.
The peace and quiet alone would be so worth it. And the success? Priceless.
Wendi I too am a List Queen! Learned by mother and shared with my sister. This is a great approach to quickly get to the top priorities. Love it!
Thanks Elaine!
My mother was a list maker too. I don’t think she ever writes them down, but I do remember growing up with her reciting her long list out loud….all morning as she ran about. Stressful. And no fun. It reminded me of the Late, late rabbit in Alice’s tea party.
I too used to have CRAZY long to do lists and I’d NEVER get everything done. It didn’t make me feel very good! I also used to make my to do list in the morning each day.
Not any more, Now I make my daily to do list at the end of each day for the next day. This way I wake up knowing exactly what I’ll be focusing on.
Also I usually make the list twice. 1) I’ll write out all of my to-dos, 2) I’ll cross out any that aren’t a priority, 3) I’ll narrow it down to ONLY THREE things I want/need to get done with one or two “If I have time” options.
This approach works much better for me 🙂
Jennifer Bourn\’s last post… Marketing Tips to Position You As An Expert
Jennifer, that write it out and cross it out was my approach before I just chucked it all and said what do I need to do today to be content and happy?
Ah….so much more peaceful now. 🙂
I still have that master list. I only look at it on my Sunday planning, and if something needs to go on the today list because it is interfering with my contentment, (like take down that damn Christmas tree before I go insane…ahem….) then it gets on the today very short list. Two guesses what I am doing after work??
Deanna,
One tip is to have a master list that I don’t look at every day, or that I can look at to review…but not as a to-do list, more as an “Is there anything on this list that will move the ball forward today that will make me feel content and happy that I can tackle quickly with success in one action step?” Then I’ll tackle just a piece of it, if it is appropriate. Then put the rest of the list aside, By viewing it as a master list, one that is not expecting to be tackled in a day, or even a week, the stress goes wayyyyy down.
Wendi,
I love the question you pose? How can I get the end result of being happy and content? It’s a really great question to ask.
For many years, part of my journaling process was writing down “yesterday’s accomplishments” so I could see that I was making progress forward. Initially, it worked wonders. Through time, however, I noticed something coming up for me. I didn’t want to HAVE to perform to feel worthy, happy, or content. My internal process of moving toward happiness and contentedness strayed away from its attachment to performing or producing. I wonder if you’ve ever felt this, and have any additional insights. I’d love hear.
Lisa
Lisa Hines\’s last post… Make Your Heart Sing